


Intangible

by assassinslover



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-09
Updated: 2014-01-03
Packaged: 2018-01-04 04:05:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 26,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1076335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/assassinslover/pseuds/assassinslover
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU - "The same people came into the library every week, more or less. Cosima knew all of the regulars, but not a single one of them knew about her."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Australian did it again. This just started off as a crack idea and then in the span of 8 hours we had the entire thing plotted out from start to finish. =x

 The same people came into the library every week, more or less. Cosima knew all of the regulars, but not a single one of them knew about her. She wasn't as bothered by it as she had at the start, and had long ago stopped waving her arms around and shouting at the top of her lungs to try and get people to notice her; all it did was tire her out, and she got nothing in return. She even had her own little routine set up. She watched over the kids in the children's section in the morning until their parents swept them away, then sat next to old lady Marge while she read the newspaper and waited for her husband George, then around dinner time went out to the park.

Once she'd stopped someone's dog from running into the street when they tugged their leash out of their owner's hands. It hadn't been difficult (animals had always been more sensitive to her), and when she'd gotten close enough to the little thing it had started barking it's head off while Cosima stood in front of it, rolling her eyes with her arms crossed over her chest. Sometimes at night she put away the books still left out on carts to be returned until moving physical items around was too much effort.

The library was quieter than usual. Cosima settled next to Marge and glanced at the news articles. Nothing caught her interest, not that that was unusual. If something terrible like a shooting happened, Cosima would know about it before any news network did. A sudden influx of souls tended to throw everything into chaos for a couple days. Marge skipped past politics and science and medicine to read the funnies. Cosima sighed.

“You know, sometimes I wish you'd read the entire paper,” she said, more to herself than Marge. “You're a slow reader. Then at least I could know what's going on without needed to spend energy moving things.” George came to collect her not long after, with a smile and a bag from the shop down the road. Marge neatly folded the paper just as Cosima was in the middle of reading a comic strip, and tucked it into her purse. Cosima watched them leave, and after a moment, rose to follow.

As happy as she was when people weren't dropping things, or almost walking into oncoming traffic, days when nothing happened were _boring._ She could only get away with so much in broad daylight without causing a scene. Cosima stood off to the side of the stairs and watched George and Marge until they rounded the corner out of sight, and waited for a break in pedestrian traffic before walking down the block and across the street to the park.

A dog barked when she got too close, startling its owner, who looked through Cosima several times before figuring it was a squirrel and looking back at their phone. Cosima pulled a face at the dog, and moved away until she was far enough that it stopped yelping at her.

“Nice day we're having,” she said to no one in particular. “Shame I can't feel it. Bet that sunlight is nice and warm.” She hugged herself until the ache in her chest subsided, then sat on the ground under her tree to watch out for anyone needing help. She'd spent a fair bit of time studying under it before; before the hospital, before she'd been confined to her room and surrounded by machines with a doctor no more than a shout away. Even after so long, something about it still felt warm, even though it she sat in its shade, shielded from sunlight she could no longer feel.

 

Monday shouldn't have been any different from every Monday Cosima had spent in the library over the past three years. Nothing about it _felt_ different when the librarians (Betty and Joan) arrived in the morning, or when a small group of children and their parents came in soon after. Marge still stopped in, chatted with Joan, then settled on her bench. Cosima still sat next to her, and still lamented over not being able to read the whole thing. George still picked her up. She was about to leave, thinking a change of scenery might brighten her day, when someone she _didn't_ know or even vaguely recognize stepped through the doors. A student, by the looks of her, laden down with a bag that seemed heavy, and the same tired expression that most college kids tended to have.

And she was _pretty_. Cosima stared, then shuddered when a man walked through her, and left the doors to trail after the mysterious blonde. She made a beeline for the science books, and excitement filled Cosima to the brim. No one ever went to the science section. Cosima passed through a book cart that got in her way, still following. Despite never having been there before, the woman seemed to know exactly what she was looking for, and after a few minutes pulled several books off the shelves and took her burden to one of the quiet tables in the back corner, far from the noise of the front desk and the children's section. Cosima stood behind her shoulder, careful not to touch her, and looked at the books; microbiology, immune system, antibiotics...

“You going to be a doctor?” Cosima asked, although she'd long since stopped expecting any kind of response. “Cool. I was going to be a doctor. Sort of.” The blonde pulled a notebook from her bag and cracked one of the books open, skimming the table of contents before flipping through to the page she needed. Cosima shoved her hands into her pockets. God, she'd missed science, and the fact that the woman was absolutely gorgeous was certainly a plus.

She could have spent the entire day (or forever, literally) watching her read, and as excited as she was to learn about the new theories and research that had cropped up since she'd been in school, she was patient as ever while Science Girl took notes. Her handwriting was adorable, Cosima noted absently, tilting her head to the side in consideration as the blonde jotted something down in a neat scrawl.

It was too soon when Science Girl packed up her things, and carefully placed her books back in their proper places on the shelf. Cosima sighed, lingering at the end of the aisle and watching her disappear out of the building. Park for her it was, then, unless she wanted to spend the remaining hours until closing trying to muster up enough energy to open a book and read for herself (which was harder than it sounded; books were heavy, especially science books). Science Girl was already gone when she finally left, into winter air that she couldn't really feel, or smell, lost in the rush of moving bodies. Cosima waited for a clear patch in the traffic at the base of the library stairs, and joined a group at the corner crossing the street.

She was back in the library after lock up, aimlessly wandering about the darkened building. It was so much more peaceful at night, somehow, even though it was quiet during the day. Cosima switched on one of the desk lamps, ignoring how it flickered, and with some effort, moved one of the bean bags from the kids area over to it, then snorted at how ridiculous it would have looked if anyone else had been in there with her. Lights turning themselves on, objects jerking across the floor.

“You need to find something to amuse yourself at night, Cosima,” she told herself for the thousandth time since she'd started haunting the place. Settled on the bean bag, though her body didn't dip or mould it in anyway, she closed her eyes. Even if she didn't sleep, she could still spend the night relaxing until the librarians came back in the morning.


	2. Chapter 2

She didn't realize she was waiting for Science Girl until she walked past where Cosima was stood. At first she thought her eyes were playing tricks (the irony wasn't lost on her), but when she looked again, Science Girl was there, bundled in a dark coat with a scarf around her neck, and heading straight for the science section again.

“Whelp, sorry Danny,” she said to the boy she was next to, “that's my girl there. Gotta go see how she's doing.” She started to laugh at herself, but it trailed off at the end when she realized how pathetic it was, and shaking her head, went to bother Science Girl instead. She spent almost as much time watching the blonde as she did reading what she was studying. When the light from outside hit her face just the right way...

“Uhg, stop it,” she said, and focused as hard as she could on reading the book, and not staring at the blonde. She reached the end of the page and out of habit reached forward over Science Girl's shoulder to flip it, only realizing what she'd done when the blonde's spine straightened and her brow furrowed cutely in confusion. “Shit, sorry, hands to myself, I'm not here, blah, blah blah. This is where you write it off as wind despite the fact that we're inside.” For a few seconds longer, Science Girl started down at the page, then sighed and shook her head before turning it back. “Nice going, Cos,” Cosima sighed.

Science Girl stayed for another hour, then checked her watch and began to pack up again. Cosima groaned and pouted. She _liked_ being able to read about science, even if immunology hadn't been her field of study. It was much easier to read over Science Girl's shoulder than to spend her try and pull books out herself, and she liked being around the woman, too. Something about her felt warm, and it drew Cosima to her like a moth to a flame (cheesy, overused analogies aside).

“Nooo, don't go,” Cosima said, even as Science Girl stood and pushed away from the table, and put her books back in their proper places. “Everything is better when you're around. I'm so bored otherwise.” She sighed, following her to the door, and watching her huddle into her coat against a gust of wind that tossed her hair.

That night, she walked the streets, the quiet of the library making her antsy. It wasn't completely for naught. She kept a drunk from wandering into traffic, knocking over the trash can just as he passed it. It knocked him over as well, but better covered in trash than dead, Cosima thought, breezing past without looking back. On any other night she would have stopped and made sure he didn't try to walk in front of a car again, but her feet kept her moving, around the block again and again and again. Nights like those happened, from time to time. Cosima figured it was that whole “restless spirit” thing.

“I'm not restless,” she said to the night air. “I just like walking. It clears my head. Not restless.” She scowled, and a street lamp sputtered as she walked under it. “Oh, whatever.”

 

Science Girl didn't show up on Wednesday, much to Cosima's disappointment. She spent the whole day sitting behind the front desk, careful to stay in a place where the librarians wouldn't constantly be stepping in her, and stared at the front door with a frown, as if she could will the blonde to walk through them. She couldn't, of course, just sit and stew in her loneliness and disappointment until she was too bored to stay in the same spot.

She sat in the park, under her favourite tree next to a bench where all manner of people sat, and watched joggers run by on their own, or in groups, or with dogs. Some people read, or listened to music. Hardly anyone just stopped to watch like she was. They came in the morning, before most of the city was awake, as the sun was rising. But winter was still and quiet, and there was nothing better for Cosima to do, so she leant against her tree, focusing on _not_ falling into the trunk (although it was almost second nature after so long), and let the day pass by.

 

Science Girl returned. Cosima grinned when she saw her, stepping out from behind the front desk. She ruffled a stack of papers on her way through, and stopped to catch them out of habit, but the librarian beat her to it. Cosima jerked her hand back to keep them from touching, and swept after Science Girl. Cosima sat in the chair next to her, left out by whoever had been there before, and stretched her arms across the top of the table while Science Girl fetched her books and settled down to study. Cosima propped her cheek up with her hand and watched her flip pages until she found what she needed, then started to read along with her.

Close to her usual leaving time, Science Girl sneezed, and usually Cosima wouldn't have thought twice about it, but her face scrunched up in the most adorable way and it was quiet, and high-pitched, and _cute_ , and she only barely managed to raise her arm in time to cover it. Cosima giggled, and Science Girl jumped, and turned and looked straight at Cosima, her eyes wide. Cosima stared back, her laughter abruptly stopping. _Did she hear me?_ Science Girl frowned lightly at the space where Cosima was sat, stood, and dumped her books on a nearby cart. Cosima didn't stop at the door when Science Girl left. She followed the blonde as she turned left, walking close to her shoulder.

“Okay,” she said softly. “Okay. I'm a scientist. Or was. We test things.” She cleared her throat. “Hello?” she called. “Science Girl? Can you hear me? Hello? Helloooooo.” Science Girl was still frowning, her hand hovering by her lips as she bit her nail. Not looking where she was going, she bumped into a man carrying boxes coming out of a store. Cosima moved to help balance them before they could fall, but the blonde beat her to it.

“I'm so sorry,” she said, catching boxes and rebalancing them. Cosima stopped still. _Oh_ , she thought. _Oh._ “I didn't see where I was going. Are you okay?” _Adorable and nice and foreign and shit I could listen to that voice forever._ Science Girl moved off after box man left, and Cosima continued to follow. _I shouldn't be doing this. I'm going to get in trouble._ But she didn't stop, not even when Science Girl ducked into a building and Cosima didn't quite manage to get into before the door shut on her. She pushed through easily enough, following the blonde up a few flights of stairs and into her apartment.

Cosima's first thought was that it was rather messy, and Science Girl obviously wasn't the only one inhabiting it, judging by the battered anatomy text on the coffee table. She poked around, careful not to touch things, while Science Girl went down the hall. After a moment, Cosima followed, and had her first look at the blonde's room. It wasn't quite as messy as the living room and kitchen, but it was cramped, like the blonde had tried to fit her entire life in it. Cosima had seen nicer bedrooms, but she couldn't fault Science Girl for _trying_ to make it look like home. The door to the small bathroom shut behind the blonde. Cosima glanced at a pile of papers on her night stand.

“Delphine Cormier,” she said, and smiled. “It's so pretty. It suits you.” She glanced around again. There were clothes piled up on the small chair squished into the corner, make up and hair products and jewellery spread over the top of the dresser. Her bedsheets were cream. It felt like her. Cosima couldn't explain how. She bent to look at a family photo in a frame on a clear spot on the dresser, and suddenly felt intrusive. Never in three years had she ever followed anyone. The door behind her clicked open. Cosima glanced over her shoulder, then immediately turned back away and slapped a hand over her eyes as Science Girl—Delphine, stepped out holding a towel to her chest.

“Well done, Niehaus,” she muttered to herself, standing close to the wall and listening to Delphine move about the room. “I knew this was creepy. Now I'm in some strange girl's room and she's half naked.” She waited a minute before peeking through two of her fingers. Thankfully, Delphine was clothed, her hands dropping from the zipper at the back of a rather nice dress. Cosima tilted her head, intrigued. It was spiffy, and there was make up on her face that hadn't been there before. Delphine slipped on heels, and checked herself in the mirror with a sigh. She walked right past Cosima on her way out. “Okay, Science Girl Delphine,” Cosima muttered, following again. “I'm interested. Where are you going dressed so nice on a Thursday night?”


	3. Chapter 3

A fancy restaurant was the answer. Cosima took one look at the place and scowled. She'd never been there before, but she knew about it, and while it wasn't the most expensive place in the city, it was certainly up there. The doorman took Delphine's coat for her.

“I've seen your apartment,” Cosima said, hovering at her shoulder. “You cannot afford a place this nice.” She paused. “Or maybe you can. I don't know. I doubt it though.”

“I'm meeting someone,” Delphine told the host. She was holding her clutch tightly. Cosima's brow furrowed. “Aldous Leekie?” The man at the stand glanced down at his book, then looked up with a smile.

“He's just through there,” he said, pointing through to the main dining hall with his pen. Delphine thanked him. Cosima scanned the tables, looking for single diners and wondering who this Aldous Leekie was. She nearly stepped through a waiter, dodging just in time to prevent it. When she looked up again, Delphine had sat with an older man. Cosima scowled, squinting at him.

“Order whatever you like, Delphine,” Leekie said. Delphine glanced down at the menu. Cosima looked over her shoulder at the prices, and if she'd needed to breathe the air would have squeezed out of her lungs at them.

“Christ,” she muttered. Delphine ordered the cheapest item, thanking their waiter with a small smile and handing him her menu. Something about Leekie made her skin crawl (figuratively).

“Wine?” Leekie offered.

“No, thank you,” Delphine replied. “Dr. Leekie, you said you wanted to speak about my grade? There isn't a problem, is there? I know I transferred recently, but the work I am doing here is _very_ similar to what I did in Paris, and I feel like I understand the content well.” Cosima sighed with relief. _Here I was thinking he was your boyfriend. Ridiculous. Nothing wrong with her meeting her teacher._ She frowned when Delphine shifted stiffly in her chair.

“Why are you so uncomfortable?” Cosima asked softly.

“There are no problems, Delphine,” Leekie replied. “You are as brilliant as you are beautiful.”

“Okay, that's creepy,” Cosima muttered.

“As a matter of fact, I believe that if we spend more time together, your performance can only improve. There's a wealth of things you could learn.”

“I'm sorry?” Delphine asked. Her face had paled. Cosima glared at Leekie. He reached across the table and laid his hand over one of Delphine's where they were folded before her. Cosima bristled and glowered.

“You know, I would hate it if I misplaced one of your papers.”

“Right, that's enough of that,” Cosima said, and reaching across the table, knocked Leekie's wine glass straight into his lap. He shouted in surprise and recoiled, glancing down in disgust.

“Excuse me,” he said, and headed for the bathroom. Delphine stared at the glass, eyes wide, just like they'd been in the library. Maybe Cosima shouldn't have done it, but she couldn't just stand there uselessly while Delphine was harassed.

“Leave,” she said, when Delphine didn't move. “Come on, leave. Before he gets back. Please. Go.” As if her words spurred Delphine into action, the blonde tossed her napkin onto the table and bolted. Cosima easily kept up with her hurried pace, ready to distract Leekie again if she had to while Delphine waited for her coat. Thankfully, there was no need. Delphine left as soon as her coat was in her hands, refusing the offer to have a cab called for her. She hunched down into it against the cold air, her breath fogging in front of her face, and set a brisk pace down the pavement. “Are you okay?” Cosima asked. “No, that's stupid. Of course you're not okay. Dumb question. I'm sorry.”

The apartment was still empty when they arrived. Delphine made a beeline for the bathroom, leaving Cosima to stand around awkwardly by the front door. She sighed and sat on the arm of the sofa. She glanced again at the anatomy textbook, at the dishes piled in the kitchen sink, the food packages scattered here and there, and wondered what kind of person Delphine lived with. The shuffling of feet behind her caught her attention. She turned her head, and couldn't help but smile at Delphine, bundled up in too large pants and an ugly, comfy looking sweater.

The blonde sat on the sofa with a loud thump and a sigh, and pulled her knees up to her chest. Cosima mimicked her posture, watching silently. Delphine still looked pale, small and scared, curled up in the corner of the couch. Cosima rested her chin on her arms. Her fingers almost itched to reach out and comfort, but all that would do was spook the blonde. After a moment, Delphine leaned forward, searching the mess on the table until she found a pack of cigarettes. With shaking hands, she lit one, and pulled hard on the filter. The smoke danced around her nose and up to the ceiling.

She didn't stay long, her cigarette fizzling down to nothing but ash. Cosima expected her to turn on the TV, or get a book to read, but ten minutes later she pushed the dead cigarette into an ashtray, stood without a word, shut the lights off, and headed down the hall. Cosima followed her, slipping in before the door shut. Delphine crawled into her bed and pulled the covers up to her chin, despite the early hour. Her face scrunched, and a soft sob slipped from her throat. Cosima crouched next to her.

“No,” she said. “No, don't cry. You're too pretty to cry. And you're smart, too, Delphine, I know you are. I've seen what you're studying. You don't need some old lecher to tell you how clever you are. Please, don't cry.” She reached out to put her hand on the blonde's arm, her need to comfort overriding her usual rule about not touching people if she could help it. Her palm tingled. Delphine tensed, and her cries cut off. She glanced around, then rubbed her arm, turned off the light, and rolled onto her other side.

Cosima stared down at her hand. She pressed her fingers together. She'd almost felt something. Delphine had felt something, she had to of... Cosima crossed her legs and sat, staring at Delphine in the darkness. Her breathing had evened out. In the silence of the room, Cosima heard it grow heavier as she fell asleep.

“What the hell was that?” she asked herself, whispering even though Delphine couldn't hear her. “She _felt_ me. She felt me.. Shit, she felt me.” She sighed. “Shit.”

 

She hadn't moved from her spot sitting when Delphine woke up in the morning, and didn't until the blonde swung her legs out of bed and Cosima had to to avoid them going through her body. She resumed her position while Delphine showered, and brushed her teeth, and finally stepped out to give Delphine privacy while she changed. She wasn't long, and didn't stop for so much as a cup of coffee before leaving. Cosima followed. She couldn't help herself.

“ _What are you doing?_ ” a voice in her head said. It wasn't distinctively male or female, more a gathered collection of different tones and timbres that echoed lightly around her skull. “ _Why are you following that girl?”_

“Reasons,” Cosima replied.

“ _Well, stop it._

“Eh,” Cosima shrugged.

“ _Cosima, you're fixating.”_ She ignored them. She wasn't fixating, just curious.

Delphine led her to a small corner shop, and waited for a steam of people to leave before she entered. Cosima looked around. Delphine waved at one of the cashiers, a small smile on her face. They waved back, then turned to a customer.

“Is this where you work?” Cosima asked, keeping close to Delphine's back to keep from walking into anyone. “It's not so bad. Small, though. Kinda quaint. I like it.” But Delphine was frowning as she went into the back to drop off her coat. The door swung through Cosima's body. She shivered. “I guess you don't like it, do you? I'm sorry.”

She was browsing the freezers at the back looking at ice cream (and shutting the door when someone left it open too long) when shouting from the front of the shop grabbed her attention. The few other people around her looked too, but then went back to their shopping, determined to ignore whatever altercation was happening. Cosima couldn't, even three years ago she wouldn't have, and when she saw it was Delphine who was being harassed, looking like she was on the verge of crying, she couldn't stop herself.

“Okay, asshole,” she said, standing behind the man, who probably thought himself so much better than her because of his fancy suit, even though he was old and fat and balding. Cosima propped her fists against her hips and waited, thinking, then when he opened his mouth to shout again after Delphine's meek apology, she flipped his tie up into his face. Startled, he floundered, mouth gaping. Cosima tripped him over, laughing as he fell to the floor. The people behind him gasped, but no one moved to help. As a final “fuck you”, Cosima shoved his bag of groceries over, spilling them everywhere.

“ _Cosima, what are you doing?_ ”

“Teaching him a lesson,” Cosima said, and crossed her arms over her chest. She stepped aside as the man hurriedly righted himself and gathered his food, paying for it without another word. Delphine had her hand over her mouth, eyes crinkled at the corners, and for a moment Cosima thought she was crying, but then a laugh squeaked out, and she quickly apologized to the next person in line. She was biting her lip when her hand lowered. Cosima's stomach flipped. _Oh, shit, she's so cute. How does she manage to make grocery store polo look flattering?_

She stayed with Delphine for the rest of her shift, even though she was bored of not being able to do anything, watching how the blonde threw herself into her job, and following her when she went outside for a smoke break. Delphine sank onto an overturned milk crate and leaned back against the wall, her eyes closed.

“I miss pot,” Cosima muttered, crouching next to her. “It made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. And stopped the pain, too, until they made me stop smoking.” Delphine sighed, her breath fogging in the cold air, and flicked the butt away, but she didn't move again until her break was over.

She looked exhausted when her co-worker came to relieve her, and Cosima was feeling tired herself, the stunt with the customer having taken its toll on her. She went home with Delphine without a second thought, and they sighed simultaneously as they stepped into a still empty apartment.

“You have to live with someone else,” Cosima said, walking into Delphine's bedroom. “There's no way you can afford this place on your own with a job like that, even though it's a dump.” She cringed. “Sorry. Do you guys ever even see each other?”

Cosima wondered what it meant that the nicest thing Delphine owned was her laptop. She settled on her bed with it, kicking her shoes off. Cosima stretched with a groan and lowered herself to the floor near the chair in the corner.

“I used to live on my own,” she said, picking absently at a nail. “Had this really nice apartment close to campus, but I didn't get to use it much...” She scowled down at her hands, remembering. It _had_ been a nice apartment, in a beautiful old building, but the comfort of her own space had been traded out for a stuffy hospital room more often than not. A phantom itch teased her (phantom) lungs. Across the room, Delphine's breath caught. Cosima glanced up, her brow immediately furrowing at the whiteness of Delphine's face, and the pressure with which her teeth were digging into her lip.

“Delphine?” Cosima asked, slowly getting to her feet. “What is it? What's wrong?” The blonde shoved a hand through her hair and sighed heavily, then rubbed at her face. Frowning, Cosima crossed the room, and leaned forward to look at the computer screen. She pushed away guilt she felt at peeking at Delphine's private emails. “I'm hoping you've reconsidered meeting me at the Holiday Inn near campus Sunday night...” she read. Her stomach turned. “What? You're not going, right?” Delphine held her hand over her mouth, and clicked the window closed so quickly she might as well have been caught watching porn. She looked like she was going to be ill. “Delphine, you can't go,” Cosima continued. “You have to tell someone. This is wrong on _so_ many different levels. You can't go.” Delphine clambered off the bed and made a beeline for her bag. She seemed to calm once she had a book in her hand. Cosima followed her out to the living room, watched as she made coffee and settled on the sofa, and sat on the far arm with a sigh.

“ _Cosima,_ ” the voices in her head said, “ _what are you doing?_ ” Cosima shrugged her shoulders, her eyes focused on Delphine's profile.

“I'm not hurting anything,” she replied. “I just wanna make sure she's okay.” She could feel a twinge of annoyance from her higher ups (she didn't know what else to call them; they weren't, strictly speaking, her _bosses_ ), but they didn't say anything else. Delphine hardly ate all evening, even though she hadn't had time for lunch at her job. Cosima watched her with concern etched into her face, wishing she had the power to do something to make her.


	4. Chapter 4

The blonde was in bed when Cosima heard the front door. She stepped through Delphine's to check that it wasn't someone unwanted, and came face to face with a tall brunette, who put her hand straight through Cosima's head to knock on Delphine's door. Cosima scowled and jerked her head away. She knew it wasn't completely avoidable, but she still hated when people did that. When the blonde didn't answer, the woman turned away with a sigh.

“You live with her, then?” Cosima asked, following. The woman hadn't so much as batted an eye, or reacted anywhere close to how people normally did when they accidentally walked through her or stepped through her or waved their arm or hand or leg or some part of their body through hers. “Some roomie you are.” At least the brunette had the decency to clean up some before she grabbed the anatomy book off the table and retreated into the other bedroom. Cosima didn't bother following. Her only concern was Delphine, who, when Cosima returned to her room, was sleeping fitfully and muttering nonsense under her breath. Cosima reached out to touch her shoulder, but stopped just short of doing so.

Delphine woke up early, and for a moment looked blissfully ignorant, but then she stopped mid-stretch, and it seemed like her entire world crumbled around her. Again, Cosima reached out to touch and comfort, but this time Delphine moved before she made contact, and Cosima realized how foolish she was being. Her hand probably would have just gone straight through anyway; it always did. The shower started, and while it ran, Cosima explored the flat again, but nothing had been touched since the night before. She settled on the arm of the sofa (it was her spot now), and stared at the TV. She had half a mind to turn it on and watch until Delphine finished her shower, but the blonde shuffled out of her room with her bag. She tossed it on the couch and made a detour to make coffee and grab a poptart. Neglectful Roomie was no where to be seen.

“No wonder you feel lonely,” Cosima said as Delphine curled up on the far end of the sofa. The news popped up when Delphine turned on the TV, but she didn't linger, spending a minute flicking until settling on an old PBS program and reaching for her books. “I know what that's like. Even before I... I sort of just kept to myself, you know?” Delphine flipped a page. “I know, you can't hear me.” She pulled her knees up and curled herself around them. “It's nice talking at you anyway. You seem like a good listener.”

Delphine hardly moved except for the bathroom, and once to get lunch and a cup of tea, though she did stretch her legs out towards the coffee table. Cosima glanced down at her own, still scrunched up at her chest. She didn't get aches and pain any more, at least not of the physical type.

“You have the longest legs I have ever seen,” Cosima commented. “Seriously. And I've seem some long-legged gir-”

“Hey, you're awake.” Cosima and Delphine both looked up.

“Oh,” she said, as Neglectful Roomie closed the front door behind her. “It's you.”

“Hello, Clara,” Delphine greeted. Clara swept around the sofa, swinging her bag. It passed through Cosima's torso.

“Hey!” she shouted, shuddering and glaring at the brunette, who slumped onto the sofa next to her. Delphine frowned lightly, looking in Cosima's direction. Cosima stared back. “Did you...?”

“Did you hear something?” Delphine asked. Clara glanced to her left.

“No, why?” Delphine shook her head, and broke the stare.

“Nothing, I must still be tired,” she muttered, thumbing a page in her book.

“Yeah, you look like shit,” Clara said. “Did you sleep okay?” Delphine shrugged. Cosima hopped off the sofa and crossed over to her, frowning.

“Can you hear me?” she asked, bending close. Delphine shuddered. “If you can hear me, cough. Or something.”

“Did we pay the heating bill?” Delphine asked instead.

“Yeeaaaahhh?” Clara drawled, looking confused.

“You can feel me,” Cosima said, bracing her hands against the sofa. “You can feel me. You're shivering because I'm standing too close to you. That means you can feel me.”

“What is up with you today?” Clara asked. Delphine shook her head again and rubbed one of her arms.

“Nothing,” she said. “Did you clean the bathroom?”

“Of course I did,” Clara replied. Cosima straightened up, pressing her palm against her cheek.

“Good. It's your turn to do the dishes then,” Delphine replied. Her gaze darted to the right, as if she could see Cosima hovering at the corner of her vision.

“If you can hear me, please do something,” Cosima pleaded. “Please. Let me know.” Cosima sighed. Delphine shivered again and clasped her hand over her shoulder.

“Easy,” Clara said. “Dishwasher.”

“It's broken,” Delphine said quietly, still frowning at the spot where Cosima was standing.

“Whatever,” Clara replied. “I'll do them. But, how about I run down to the corner store and get us a new bottle of wine? We can have a night in.” Delphine smiled, and Cosima straightened up.

“Okay,” the blonde said, tossing her book onto the table and getting to her feet. Clara followed suit.

“Be back in a bit then,” she said. Cosima watched them leave, Clara out the door and Delphine down the hall to her room, and sighed heavily.

“Guys,” she said, holding her knuckles by her mouth, “guys she heard me.”

“ _What?_ ” the voices said.

“She can hear me, and she can feel me. Delphine. She just.. I don't know what just happened. Why can she do that?” They were silent for a long time, enough that Delphine returned before they spoke again.

“ _We don't know. Stay away from her until we figure it out._ ” Cosima scoffed, watching Delphine in the kitchen as she washed a pair of wine glasses.

“Yeah, that's gonna happen,” she muttered. There was no way she was going to leave Delphine alone, not with that creepy email from Leekie. Not with her being the only person in three years to really react to her presence.

 

Cosima missed getting drunk. She had expected Delphine to be reserved, since she seemed to be about everything else in her life that Cosima had seen, but she was well past tipsy, and it was Clara who was the more sober.

“I don't blame you,” Cosima said, sitting cross-legged on the other side of the table, watching them. “If I had to go see creepy Leekie tomorrow I'd be getting trashed, too.”

“This one time, back home,” Delphine said, “my friend Pierre and I, we went to a party, yes? A proper university party, and I didn't know anyone. He did, of course. He knew everyone. Anyway, we were both very drunk, and someone dared him to juggle beer cans, and he was doing fine until he started laughing and he dropped them all and spilled beer everywhere.” Clara giggled.

“I did a keg stand once, when I was an undergrad.”

“A keg stand?” Delphine asked. “That sounds fun.”

“Oh, it was,” Clara replied. “The hangover was murder, though.” Cosima sighed.

“At least no alcohol means none of those,” she mumbled, and braced her elbow against her knee so she could set her chin in her palm. Delphine chuckled and finished off her wine.

“I need the toilet,” she announced, and stood, but stumbled slightly to the side.

“I think you need bed,” Clara said, setting her glass on the table and standing. “Come on.”

“One more glass,” Delphine said. Clara shook her head and plucked the wine glass out of Delphine's hand. The blonde sighed. “Okay. Goodnight, Clara.”

“Night,” Clara replied. Delphine yawned and shuffled down the hallway, Clara in her wake.

“Okay, so you're not so neglectful,” Cosima said, “but I still don't like you.” She swept down the hall after them, stood off to the side while Clara put Delphine to bed and fetched her a glass of water and pills from the bathroom.

“Night,” the brunette said again. Cosima crossed to the bedside when it was clear. Delphine hummed around her water glass, guzzling it down. The bedroom door shut. Delphine sighed, and sunk into her pillows, then hummed again, yawned, and started to sit up again. Cosima reached out automatically to push her back down, but instead of her hands going straight through, it felt like air was being pressed against her palms just as they were about to connect with Delphine's shoulders. The blonde fell back, looking confused. Cosima snapped her hands back, holding them close to her chest.

“What the hell is going on?” she whispered. Delphine's eyes searched the area before them, then she sighed and shook her head, and under her breath muttered something about being silly and drunk before switching off her light and rolling over. Cosima hesitated, then left to check on Clara. The brunette was cleaning off the table. She straightened up with a stretch and a sigh, the almost empty bottle of wine in the crook of her elbow and the glasses in her other hand. She spun around too quickly for Cosima to move out of the way, her hand passing through. Clara stopped, looked at her hand, then shook her head.

“Okay, Clara, maybe you're a bit more drunk than you thought.”

“I hate alcohol,” Cosima grumbled, rubbing her sternum as Clara put her armful in the kitchen and switched off the lights. “I wonder how people would react if they knew contact with the spirit world was only a few drinks away. Alcoholism rates would sky rocket!” She sighed, stepping through the door to Delphine's room. “I need to stop talking to myself, this is ridiculous.” Delphine was sound asleep. “At least it's good for that,” Cosima said softly, standing next to the bed. She bit her lip, then hesitantly reached out, and brushed the blonde's hair out of her face. Delphine mumbled wordlessly and turned her face into her pillow. Cosima's hand hovered above her head before she pulled it back and went back to her normal seat in front of the chair in the corner.

Clara was gone again in the morning, but there was a note scribbled on a post it and left on the (clean) kitchen counter that read: _last night was fun_ _hope you feel better Del :)._ Cosima tapped her finger against it, then stepped to the side to let Delphine reach the coffee pot. She moved like someone had thrown lead weights on her shoulders.

“Clara's not so bad, I guess,” she said, looking at the smile on Delphine's face when she read the note. “It was nice of her to go get wine for you. And do the dishes. And make you laugh. You're pretty when you laugh.” She'd have blushed if she could. “Oh, whatever, it's not like she can hear you.” Delphine had cereal for breakfast, slowly eating it while she leaned against the counter waiting for the coffee to brew. She would have forgotten where Delphine had to go if it wasn't for the look of absolute dread on the blonde's face.


	5. Chapter 5

“Come on, Cosima,” she told herself when Delphine poked at the bowl of soup she'd made for dinner, staring off into space. “You have to do something. You can't just let her go meet that creep.” When Delphine dumped her food in the sink and gathered up her laundry, Cosima saw her opportunity. She slipped out of the apartment after the blonde, and when she was far enough down the hall, locked the door behind her. A few minutes later, Delphine returned, and bumped into the door when it didn't open for her. Confused, she stepped back, tried the handle, then sighed.

“Score,” Cosima said, with a satisfied grin. Delphine set down her laundry basket and bent over, tipping the potted plant by the door up and sliding a key out from under it. “Dammit.” Cosima phased through the wall and went straight to Delphine's bathroom, moving all of her make up into her room and hiding it under the bed.

“ _Cosima, what are you doing? Stop touching her stuff.”_ Cosima rolled her eyes.

“I'm helping,” she said as Delphine walked in. She tossed her basket on the bed and crossed to her closet. Cosima watched her shoulders flex as she pushed clothes aside and pulled out a dress as nice as the one she'd worn to dinner. Cosima waited until she went into the bathroom before throwing the dress under the bed as well. An exasperated sigh from the other room marked her victory. Delphine re-entered the room and picked up her bag from her dresser, digging her hand into it.

“ _Cosima, knock it off._ ”

“I've done worse,” she said, and groaned in frustration as Delphine pulled make up out of her clutch. “Why are you so prepared for this?” she asked. Delphine glanced at the bed, puzzled.

“What is going on?” she said to herself. “I could have sworn that I...” She shook her head, squeezed the bridge of her nose, and fetched another dress. Cosima rubbed her hand over her face, and kept it there while she listened to Delphine changing, then paced between the bedroom and the bathroom.

“You don't have to do this, Delphine,” she said, holding her hand by her chin and wrapping an arm around her torso. “Please, don't do this. You don't have to do this.”

“I have to do this,” Delphine said, and Cosima's head shot up, thinking for a second that somehow Delphine had heard her, but the blonde was hunched over the sink and staring firmly at her reflection. Cosima's heart sank. She sighed and squeezed her eyes shut. The lights flickered. When she opened her eyes again, Delphine was staring up at the ceiling in puzzlement, but passed it off as nothing and brushed past Cosima to grab her phone and call a cab.

Her gut twisted during the ride, but she was too tired to try and stop Delphine, and even if she'd had the energy, she didn't want to mess up the driver's night by screwing around with his car. It wasn't his fault, after all; it was that creep, Leekie's. How dare he blackmail Delphine into sleeping with him? Whatever he was doing, whatever reason Delphine had for not backing out, how dare he put her in a place where she couldn't refuse? Cosima crossed her arms over her chest and glared out the window until Delphine sighed heavily and her features relaxed.

“I'm so sorry,” she said to the blonde. “You don't deserve this. No one deserves this.”

Delphine didn't bother stopping at reception. She checked her phone, then switched it off and dropped it back into her bag. In the elevator, she blinked back tears, and when she inhaled her breath was shaky and uneven. Cosima wanted more than anything to reach out and comfort her. Her arms ached with the need. The lift dinged. Cosima followed her to the door, and stopped when it shut behind her. For a while, she paced up and down the hall, but finally, she settled on the floor across from the door and pulled her knees to her chest.

“This is so wrong,” she said, shaking her head. She dropped it to her knees and sighed. “Can't you guys help? Please?”

“ _This is her choice to make._ ”

“This isn't a choice!” Cosima shouted. The lights above her head dimmed. She sighed again, tired.

“ _Why do you care so much, Cosima?”_ they asked. It was a logical question. There was no reason for her to care. She hardly knew Delphine. She had no reason to follow her around in the first place, let alone give a shit that she was sleeping with her professor.

“Because it's wrong,” she finally said, and for the next hour tried to convince herself that it was the real reason.

 

Delphine was pale and shaking when the door opened. Cosima shot to her feet, having to move at an almost jog to keep up with her quick walk.

“Delphine,” she said. “Delphine, I'm so sorry. I wish I could have stopped it.” She hopped into the elevator. Delphine cowered in the corner, breathing heavily through her mouth from behind her hand. Tears formed at the corner of Delphine's eyes. “Of course you can cry,” Cosima said. She reached out to lay her hand on Delphine's shoulder. It went straight through, and the blonde shuddered and turned her shoulder away, curling into herself. Cosima shook the light tingling feeling out of the tips of her fingers and sighed. While they waited for a cab, Delphine tried to light a cigarette, but her hands were shaking too much and she dropped it. She was still staring at it when the car pulled up to take them home.

Clara was out when they got back, and it was probably for the best. Delphine almost slammed the door in Cosima's face, and ran straight for the bathroom. The smack of the door echoed through the room. Cosima paced outside it, listening to the pounding of the water against the tub mixing with Delphine's sobs, just loud enough for Cosima to hear. It was an hour before she got out. Cosima couldn't imagine... she didn't want to. Just thinking about thinking it was almost enough to make her want to be sick. Cosima closed her eyes, waiting until she heard the creaking of Delphine's bed, and the fluttering of pages.

“How can you study?” Cosima asked, and sat on the edge of the bed. “Although I guess it's as good a distraction as any. Shit, Delphine, I wish you would have gotten the hint. No grade is worth this sort of mistreatment.” She sighed, gaze skipping across Delphine's face, splotchy from crying. She was still trembling, still pale, still looking like she was going be sick at any second. Delphine turned the page so hard it almost ripped, clearly not taking in anything she was reading. “Delphine...” Cosima sighed. The blonde swiped at her eyes, then pinched the bridge of her nose and held back a choked sob. She paused, hesitant to leave, but it didn't look like Delphine was going to be leaving her bed any time soon.

Her body wavered slightly as she passed through door after door until she was outside, glancing around.

“Flowers,” she muttered, “flowers, flowers, flowers.” She jogged across the street, checking for wildflowers in the small stretch of green a block down. She hummed, flexed her fingers, and picked a few. They felt odd in her hands, as if they weren't quite there. She searched for a few more, until there was a small bunch clutched in her fingers, then jogged lightly back to the apartment building.

“ _Cosima, what are you doing!? Someone might see flowers moving around! You need to stop!”_

“It's the middle of the night!” Cosima said, with a brief glare up at the sky. “No one saw. I'm almost back anyway.”

“ _Cosima, you need to stop. You're getting too invested in this girl.”_ Cosima rolled her eyes.

“She needs someone.”

“ _You're not that someone._ ” Cosima pushed through the door, and took the stairs two at a time. She _could_ be that someone. Or at least she could try. Cosima set the flowers down neatly on the door matt, then knocked on the door. She sighed, her arm feeling heavy. A minute later the door opened, and Delphine glanced around before looking at the floor, her face redder than it had been when Cosima had left.

“They're for you,” Cosima said, as Delphine tilted her head to the side and leaned over to pick the flowers up. She followed the blonde inside. “So you won't be sad.” Delphine sighed softly and stroked a finger over the petals, holding them carefully in one hand and finding a small, clean glass with the other, filling it with water and carefully setting the flower stems in them. A small smile curled on her lips. Cosima's breath caught. “See? Now you don't have to be upset.” Delphine touched the flowers gently again, then yawned loudly. Cosima chuckled softly.

“Oooooooooooooh,” a voice behind them said. They both looked over their shoulders. Clara shut the door behind her, locking it before joining Delphine in the kitchen. “Who are those from?” Delphine shrugged, and Cosima stepped out of the way to avoid being walked through. Clara touched the tip of a petal.

“I don't know,” Delphine said. “There was a knock at the door, and they were just laying there on the matt.”

“How do you know they're not for me?” Clara joked. Delphine laughed.

“Just a feeling,” she replied, wrapping her arms around herself. Clara hummed.

“Well, it's cute anyway. Maybe it's someone from school?” Delphine paled slightly.

“Maybe,” she mumbled. “I'm going to bed.”

“Yeah, me too. Big test tomorrow.” Cosima followed them down the hall, standing a few paces away while they said their goodnights and Clara retreated. Delphine shut her door softly, and stretched with another yawn. Cosima settled on the floor in front of her chair.

“Leekie wouldn't get you flowers,” she said, eyes following Delphine's path from the door to her bed. She flicked the light off and rolled over. Cosima listened for the sounds of crying, but none followed, just the slow evening out of Delphine's breath. She closed her eyes.


	6. Chapter 6

She was aware of everything that went on at night; how the apartment creaked, the wind outside, the muffled sound of cars going past on the streets. Usually it was a comfort. All the noise gave her something to focus on during the nights when she _was_ a restless soul, with itching feet and fingertips, able to walk and walk and walk without ever getting tired but not being able to reach out and feel the bark of a tree, or the coolness of a pane of glass. Delphine's breathing, deep and steady, was more than all of those noises combined, and it soothed the twitching in her fingers and toes and kept her firmly rooted to her spot until dawn started creeping through the window above her head, throwing pale golden light on Delphine's face. As it grew brighter, the blonde's features scrunched up against it, and after a moment she blinked her eyes open, and groggily stared directly at where Cosima was sitting.

“Good morning,” Cosima whispered, her throat tightening. Delphine squinted, almost as if she could see her, then yawned loudly and stretched her arms above her head with a groan. The moment broken, Cosima slowly got to her feet and left the room to give Delphine privacy to change. Milling about in the kitchen, she touched her fingers to the flowers still sitting there, and watched with a small smiled as they freshened. “Perfect.”

“That's odd,” Delphine said behind her. They almost touched as she stepped forward to examine the flowers. “I was sure they would have wilted overnight.” She brushed a finger over them again, and smiled. “Resilient things, you are,” she continued softly.

“So are you,” Cosima said, her voice just as quiet. “You're one of the strongest people I've met, and I hardly know you.” Delphine's lips twitched into another smile before she turned away to make coffee. Cosima hopped up on the counter and waited, kicking her feet into the air in front of her until, armed with a travel mug and her bag, Delphine headed for the door.

 

“Uhg,” Cosima said, swerving out of the way of yet another college student too busy looking at their phone to pay any attention to the world around them. Four people had already walked through her, despite her close proximity to Delphine. “I knew there was a reason I stopped coming back here.” She shuddered. “Too many people. Don't worry, though, Delphine. I'll stick with you. Creepy Leekie won't be able to try anything with me there to protect you. Probably. I'll do something.” She hoped that whatever lecture Leekie taught wasn't one that Delphine had today, and from the blonde's posture, she guessed Delphine felt the same, but they were both disappointed. He smiled at Delphine when they walked in the room, and to anyone else it would have looked innocent, but Cosima didn't miss the way his eyes trailed down her body, or how Delphine refused to look at him.

“Asshole,” Cosima said, flicking a pen off the table just to spite him. It was enough to pull his attention away from Delphine, who hid behind a tall, lanky boy and quietly opened her laptop to take notes. Cosima sat by the windows, keeping one eye on Leekie. She couldn't dispute that he was a charismatic speaker, and an intelligent man. He certainly knew how to win over an audience, but that didn't change the fact that he was a lecherous old man, and oh how Cosima _wished_ she could show him up.

She thought they were in the clear until Leekie called Delphine's name just as class ended. Delphine stopped dead in her tracks, her entire body tensing. Cosima's stiffened as well, halfway out the door.

“Miss Cormier,” he called, “if you could stay for a moment. Shut the door, please.”

“Don't do it, Delphine,” Cosima said. The blonde bit her lip, and gently pushed the edge of the door. It closed loudly. “Don't listen to me, then.” She hopped out of Delphine's way, and looped around the blonde to hover by Leekie's desk, looking for something she could do to stop whatever was about to happen before it gained too much traction.

“I've booked another hotel room for the same time this weekend,” Leekie said. He didn't even bother to look up, reaching for papers and slipping them into a folder. Cosima glared at him. “I expect I'll see you there?” Cosima risked a glance at Delphine, who looked sick to her stomach. “Miss Cormier?”

“Yes,” Delphine said softly. Cosima rolled her eyes, then looked around again, and spotted Leekie's laptop, still open on the far end of the table. She placed her palm against it. It almost felt warm, like a breeze passing through her skin. She closed her eyes.

“Good,” Leekie replied.

“ _Cosima, what are you doing?_ ”

“Punishing him for what _he_ did.”

“ _What has gotten into you lately? We've never had this much trouble with you._ ”

“Yeah, well...” She snapped her jaw shut, focusing, until she heard the soft whirring stop, followed by an almost silent crack. “There. Serves him right.” She yawned, and shook her hand in the air. “Let's go, Delphine.” But the blonde was already out the door, and halfway down the hall. She ducked into a bathroom, checking each of the stalls before gasping in a shuddery breath, bracing herself against the sink. “It's okay,” Cosima said, her hand just above the blonde's shoulder. “It's okay.” She pulled her fingers back when Delphine straightened up and wiped at her eyes, glaring at her reflection in the mirror. Cosima watched as Delphine finished whatever silent conversation she was having with herself, and trailed after her when she left.

 

It was amazing how, despite her tiny apartment, and loads of schoolwork, and skeevy professors on top of a shitty job, Delphine still managed to have a genuine smile for every customer that came through her line. Cosima sat on a stack of bottle water at the end of her register, watching her hands a she grabbed for items, typed expertly at her computer, ran her fingers through her hair.

“You're a beautiful person, Delphine,” she said during a break in business, when Delphine sighed and pushed her hair out of her face with a light frown. “Don't ever forget that. I know you can't hear me, but don't forget it.”

Clara was home when they got back. Cosima left them to socialize, using the time to poke around Delphine's room. She tried not to be too intrusive, constantly casting glances at the bedroom door in case one of them walked in to a floating perfume bottle. She brushed her fingertips along Delphine's messy bedsheets. They fluttered lightly under her touch. Cosima sighed, looking over her shoulder as Delphine's voice drifted closer, and retreated to her corner. When Delphine settled on her bed, Cosima inched closer, until she was close enough to feel her presence, but far enough to not risk having legs swung through her. Delphine cracked open her laptop, put in earbuds, and the two of them sat in silence for the rest of the night.

 

Delphine's feet dragged every step of the way to Leekie's lecture. She bustled into the room with a group of students, doing her best to avoid her professor's attention, and sat behind the same boy she had on Monday. She didn't put her hand up, or make eye contact with anyone at all, just hunched over her computer typing up as much as she could as fast as she could. Cosima sat in the empty seat next to her and glared daggers at Leekie. When he rubbed the back of his neck with an uncomfortable glance out at the room, she considered it a victory.

“Miss Cormier,” he said when class ended, “don't forget about what I said the other day.” Delphine left without replying, Cosima hot on her heels.

As they were leaving for the day, Cosima spotted Leekie on his way to his car. With a glance at Delphine, Cosima left her side for the first time in days to follow him instead. While he messed about in the back, Cosima shoved her hands through the hood of the car, focused as hard as she could, and started to break everything she could get her fingers on. She kept going until the back door shut, and a wave of exhaustion washed over her. She stumbled to the side, inhaling deeply, and rubbed at heavy eyes.

“ _What the hell do you think you're doing!”_ the voices yelled. Cosima winced, the sound too loud in her sensitive head.

“I was making things right,” she mumbled, looking around for Delphine. She spotted the blonde at the end of the block, waiting to cross, and began to slump after her.

“ _If you don't stop this, we're going to have to do it for you._ ”

“Whatever,” Cosima sighed. Delphine seemed very far away.

“ _Cosima, we're serious.”_

“So am I. I'm not having this conversation right now.” She grunted in disgust when someone walked through half her body. “I can't talk to you and stay _me_ enough to follow her home at the same time.”

“ _You shouldn't be following her at all!_ ”

“Whatever,” Cosima repeated, relieved when she finally caught up with Delphine halfway down the next street. All she wanted was to rest her head on the blonde's shoulder and close her eyes, just for a bit. Just until she got her strength back. Her entire body felt odd, like she wasn't quite there; fuzzy at the edges, and wavering and weird.

But Delphine made her feel more alive than she ever had before over the course of her existence. Something about the blonde kept Cosima from leaving (even if she'd wanted to), like there was some sort of invisible string tying them together. The closer Cosima stayed, the longer she spent in Delphine's company, the stronger the thread grew. She knew without having to stop and think about it that if it would make Delphine smile, she would move a mountain, even if it destroyed her in the end.

She was relieved when they finally got back, and for the entire evening stayed so close to Delphine that they were almost touching, apologizing weakly under her breath whenever her proximity made the blonde shiver and burrow deeper into her sweater. She fell asleep soon enough, curled up with her hands under her head. Cosima pulled her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, leaning into the sofa.

“Being around you makes me feel stronger,” she said. “I would never have been able to do that shit to Leekie's car before we met. Well, before _I_ met you. Pretty sure I would have just, like, evaporated on the spot or something. But not now.” She reached out, and just barely glanced her fingertips over Delphine's cheek. The blonde hummed and turned her face away, hiding it against the crook of her elbow. “Now I can do that without my hand going straight through you. Almost. I've never been able to do that.” She retracted her hand, and curled it into her chest. The tips of her fingers tingled with a phantom heat.


	7. Chapter 7

Delphine had grocery shopping duty the next week, not because it was her turn, but because Clara had an important exam, which accounted for part of the reason why she was never around. It was a nice day for a walk, at least, Cosima decided, strolling along the busy sidewalk behind Delphine. When she had more room, she moved to her side, easily passing through the tables and chair set outside the café they were passing without hardly any trouble. The slight tugging about her waist was worth being able to walk _next_ to Delphine for once, instead of behind her. She glanced up at the café front.

“I've never been here before,” she said, “but it look like a nice-” She grunted as her hips collided with something solid, knocking her over, followed by a loud crash and the sound of glass breaking. She found herself on the ground, watching as people jumped and stared in curiosity, and turned her head to see Delphine standing near it looking confused. “What the hell?” Cosima exclaimed.

“Hey!” an unfamiliar voice shouted. Cosima propped herself up on her elbows, looking at an angry waiter making his way over to them. “What did you do that for!?”

“I-I didn't,” Delphine replied, floundering.

“Yeah, I'm sure,” the man replied. He stood in one of Cosima's legs and righted the table. “The table just flipped itself over.”

“I swear, I-”

“Whatever,” the waiter said with a sigh. “Just go.” Cosima scrambled to her feet, patting herself down. Everything was where it was supposed to be, and she passed through the barrier separating the tables from the pedestrian traffic easily enough. She glanced up at the sky.

“ _Cosima, we warned you!_ ”

“What the hell was that!?” she asked. “I shouldn't be able to do that! Can you explain what just happened!?” There was a long pause. “ _Guys?_ ”

“ _We don't know,_ ” they finally said. Cosima quickened her pace to keep up with Delphine, who was pulling her phone out of her bag.

“What do you mean you don't know? You're supposed to know!”

“ _You need to stop following her._ ” Cosima sighed, and rubbed an eye beneath her glasses.

“I can't,” she said.

“ _What do you mean you can't?_ ” they asked.

“I mean I can't,” Cosima replied. “I feel like something bad will happen if I do.”

“ _You're not supposed to be following her, Cosima, you know that._ ” Cosima shook her head, sighed again, and started to follow Delphine across the street. Except that the light hadn't changed, and there was a car heading straight for her. For the second time that day, Cosima had something solid slamming into her, but at least it was on her own volition. She thumped heavily against the hood of the vehicle, rolling off it onto the ground with a soft grunt and rubbing her stomach. The driver poked his head out of the window, confused by the lack of dent in his car and the woman standing in front of it, while Delphine looked like a deer caught in headlights. Cosima sighed, and with a grin on her face, raised both middle fingers to the sky.

“Told you so,” she said, then let her arms fall.

Delphine's brow remained furrowed during the entire shopping trip. She didn't take long, only leaving with a couple bags, and muttering to herself under her breath as she went, paying extra attention to the walk/don't walk signs. Her voice was too soft for Cosima's to make out what she was saying, and even if she had been able to, she didn't know anywhere near enough French to be able to understand it.

“I'm just as confused as you are,” Cosima said, when Delphine's frown deepened and she shook her head before fishing her keys out of her bag.

“Clara?” the blonde called once the door was open, and shifted her grip on the grocery bags. Her keys jingled softly. There was no response. Delphine kicked the door shut behind her, and set the bags down on the kitchen table. She found a pack of cigarettes and lit one, pulling smoke into her lungs. “Okay,” she said, and started to pace. Cosima stood in the doorway, eyes following her as she walked around and around in circles. “What happened? Am I crazy? No, no I can't be crazy. Okay. Okay. Test.” She stopped abruptly and cleared her throat.

“What?” Cosima asked.

“Hello?” Delphine said. “Is there anyone there?” Cosima stared at her, her chest constricting.

“Okay,” she said to herself, stepping into the kitchen. “It's now or never. Either you can go the rest of your life without anyone knowing who you are, or you can step up.”

“Hello?” Delphine repeated. Cosima raised her hand, and slid Delphine's coffee mug from that morning across the counter. The blonde yelped and jumped back a step, dropping her cigarette, staring at it like it was possessed. Technically it was, Cosima mused, and waited. The blonde cleared her throat. “Okay. If there's someone here, do that again.” Cosima complied, shoving the mug again. Delphine flailed a hand out, finding the broom stuck between the fridge and the wall and holding it like a weapon. Cosima laughed, and Delphine whirled towards the noise.

“I'm not a mouse!” Cosima said. “That's not going to do you any good.” Frowning, Delphine reached out with the broom, then jerked it forward. The end of it went straight through Cosima's torso. She shuddered, her entire body shaking, and stepped out of it. After a moment, Delphine pulled it back.

“Are you still there?” Cosima crossed back to her, and grabbed the roll of paper towels near her elbow. Delphine skipped away, staring at it, then started ranting in French. Cosima sighed and sat at the table.

“Guess I just have to wait,” she muttered, propping her elbow up and resting her chin in her palm. Delphine calmed a few moments later with a deep breath and a heavy exhale. She shoved a hand through her hair, then glanced down at the broom in her hand and put it away with a light blush.

“Okay,” she said, looking around the room. “Are... are you bad?”

“No!” Cosima exclaimed, scoffing. “Of course I'm not!”

“Hello?” Delphine called. She sighed. “We need a system of communication. Can you knock on the table?” Cosima rolled her eyes, straightened up, and rapped her knuckles against the wood. Delphine squeaked. She cleared her throat. “Okay. One knock for yes, two for no.”

“Okay?” Cosima replied, and knocked once again. Delphine picked her cigarette off the floor and stubbed in into the ashtray on the table as she sank into the other chair.

“There is a ghost in my house,” she said softly, pushing both hands into her hair. “Okay.”

“I promise you're not crazy,” Cosima said. Delphine chewed on her lip.

“So... it was you who knocked that table over?” Cosima knocked, watching her closely. “And it was you who stopped... it was you who jumped in front of that car.” Cosima knocked again. “Why?” Cosima frowned.

“Why wouldn't I? It's not like it was going to kill me,” Cosima replied.

“Sorry,” Delphine said. “Yes or no questions.” She spread her hands out flat on the table. “God, this is so... very odd.”

“Tell me about it,” Cosima mumbled, leaning back in her seat. The chair creaked softly. Delphine's eyes darted to it.

“You're there?” she asked, looking straight at Cosima. She held the blonde's gaze, then hit the table again. “I'm sitting with a ghost.” Cosima chuckled. Delphine cocked her head.

“Did you hear that?” Cosima asked.

“That was odd,” Delphine said, “almost like a whisper.” She shook her head and cast her eyes around the room. They setted on the flowers, still in a glass by the sink, and just as fresh as when Cosima had picked them. “Were those you?” Delphine asked, pointing. Cosima hesitated, feeling almost embarrassed, then gently knocked. “Oh,” the blonde breathed. “Well, I guess you're all right, then. You saved my life, after all, and brought me lovely flowers after...” She cleared her throat again. “I'm going to make dinner,” she announced, and got to her feet.

Delphine hummed softly while she cooked, stopping every few minutes when she realized she wasn't technically alone, only to resume again a few seconds later. Cosima was afraid her face was going to be stuck with a grin on it for the rest of forever. Delphine twirled around, her hands poised to grab something, but whatever she was looking for wasn't nearby. A cute crinkle formed between her brows, her teeth finding her lip.

“Spoon,” she muttered to herself, opening drawers. Cosima glanced around, then stood and reached for the utensil, hidden behind the paper towels she'd moved before. Delphine froze when she turned back around, and Cosima chuckled. She could see her hands, but to Delphine it must have just been levitating. She held it out. Gently, Delphine plucked it from her. “Thank you,” she said, and Cosima smiled and knocked once on the counter. It wasn't exactly the _correct_ answer, but there was only so much she could do.

“You're adorable,” Cosima sighed, then slapped a hand over her mouth, but of course Delphine hadn't heard. Delphine dished her food, and dumped the pot into the sink. Cosima sat across the table from her again. “I miss food.” Delphine hummed around her fork, perking up slightly.

“Have you met Clara?” she asked. Cosima raised a brow, but knocked in answer. “Do you like her?” Cosima twisted her mouth sideways.

“Sort of,” she replied, with a light tap of her knuckles. Delphine chuckled lightly. “She could be more attentive,” Cosima continued over them, “but I guess training to be a surgeon is kind of time consuming.”

“Mon dieu,” Delphine whispered, smiling and shaking her head as she poked at her food. “This is ridiculous.” The scraping of her fork caught Cosima's attention. She sighed, staring at Delphine's plate.

“Uhg, I'm hungry,” she said. “Wait. I shouldn't be hungry. What the hell is going on?” She rubbed her face. “What are you doing to me, Delphine?”

 

“Where do you go at night?” Delphine asked that night as she was getting into bed. Cosima looked around for something nearby the chair to knock on, and settled for stamping her foot a few times instead. It provided the same level of noise. Delphine played with the hem of her shirt, and carefully crossed the room, lingering by her night stand. She pointed. “Here?” Cosima stamped again, once.

“Not as uncomfortable as you might think,” she said. “Not that I can really _be_ uncomfortable. Unless someone walks through me or sticks something in me.” Delphine hand was raised, hovering in the space between them. Her fingers twitched, then she shook her head and lowered it, and got into bed with her laptop and her earbuds. Cosima settled on the floor, and closed her eyes. Her body was only just buzzing, a strange, unfamiliar warmth lingering at its edges. Cosima flexed her fingers carefully.

“Are you still there?” Delphine asked later on, the lid of her computer clicking closed. Cosima blinked her eyes open. She knocked on the floor. “Okay. Well, goodnight then, I think.”

“Goodnight, Delphine,” Cosima replied. “I-uh-wait-no!” She smacked her hand against the floor again. “Oh, god, sorry, that was really loud.” Delphine giggled, then flicked off the light and rolled over. “Idiot,” Cosima said to herself, shaking her head. “Idiot.”

 

There was an email from Leekie when Delphine woke up in the morning. Cosima could tell by the way the colour drained from her face, but a few seconds later her shoulders relaxed and she let out a loud sigh. Cosima knocked a foot against her night stand to get her attention. The blonde's body jerked, her laptop slipping to the side.

“I'm sorry,” Cosima said. Delphine pressed a hand to her chest, her breathing returning to normal after a few seconds.

“Oh,” she said. “Good morning, I guess.”

“Good morning,” Cosima replied, getting to her feet with a soft groan. Delphine chewed on her lip.

“I have a email from my professor,” she said awkwardly. “We were... he... his car is totalled, so he cancelled.”

“Good,” Cosima said.

“Was that you, too?” Delphine asked. Cosima tapped the top of the night stand. “You destroyed his car for me?” She knocked again. Delphine smiled. “That was very sweet of you.”

“Thanks,” Cosima said, and grinned.

“It won't stop him from trying again, I think,” Delphine said, then sighed softly. “But it has been avoided for now, no?” She laughed. “Listen to me. It sounds like I'm talking to myself.”

“Welcome to the club, Del,” Cosima replied, snorting in amusement. Without thinking, Cosima reached forward to hug her, only realizing what she was doing when her arms and torso phased through her. Delphine shivered violently.

“What did you just do?” Delphine asked as Cosima straightened up and took a step back. “Where are you?” She started to wave her arm around, stopping when her hand hit Cosima's chest.

“Stop that,” Cosima said. “Get your arm out of my torso.” She batted at Delphine's arm, only to have her hand pass through the blonde's forearm. Delphine tugged her hand away.

“I'm sorry. Does that feel weird?”

“Yes,” Cosima replied.

“I guess it must.” Delphine swung her legs out of bed with a small shiver.

“Not my fault.”

“Will you be coming to school with me again today?” Cosima knocked.

“Of course I am,” she said. “I'm not letting you out of my sight.”

“I'm glad,” Delphine said. “I almost feel like... no, I'm being silly.”

“You feel like what?” Cosima asked, but Delphine was already moving to her bathroom. Cosima slapped her hands against her legs with a sigh. “I'll just wait in the kitchen then.”

Delphine brewed fresh coffee, and leaned against the counter while she drank it. Cosima watched from the doorway as she looked around. She tapped on the wall with her knuckles, and the blonde's head whipped towards the sound.

“There you are,” she said with a small smile. “I was wondering.”

“I know,” Cosima replied. Delphine sighed and ruffled her hair. She glanced out the window and finished her coffee, setting the mug in the sink.

“I had a thought,” she said. “I don't have to be in class until the afternoon, so would you like to go to the park with me?” Smiling, Cosima knocked. “Good. Park it is, then. Shall we?” She shivered when she walked past Cosima, and paused by the arm of the sofa. “That was you.” Cosima bit her lip, and rapped her knuckles. Cosima kept trying to touch Delphine's shoulder to let her know she was still there as they walked, but it was too cold outside for the temperature change to be noticed unless Cosima wanted to put her arm _through_ Delphine, which she didn't want to do. Delphine sat on the first empty bench they came to and rummaged through her bag for her book. Cosima glanced around for a place to sit, before settling on the ground next to Delphine.

“I miss this,” she said, glancing around. “All the smells. The way the wind feels. The sun, too.” She turned her head, squinting against the light to look at Delphine's face. “You're kind of like the sun, though. What I can remember of it, at least.” Something dropped to the ground next to her. Cosima glanced over, confused, her eyes first settling on the ball resting by her feet, then on the dog sat next to it, panting happily. “Hello,” Cosima said. The dog woofed softly. “Do you wanna play catch?” The dog wagged his tail. Cosima glanced around, but the only person who would notice would be Delphine, so she picked up the ball and lightly lobbed it. As the dog bounded after it, Delphine's head snapped up, her face a mask of confusion. She glanced down at where Cosima was sitting, her lips twitching into an awkward smile. The dog trotted back, ball in his mouth, and ignored the blonde to drop his toy at Cosima's feet again.

“Are you playing fetch?” Delphine asked, watching the ball soar through the sky again. Hand free, Cosima knocked on the bench near the blonde's thigh. “Aren't people going to see?” Cosima tapped twice.

“Only you,” she said, and tossed the ball again. The dogs owner called him before he could return and he bounded away. “You should get a dog,” Cosima continued, leaning back. “Something fat and lazy. Like a pug! Maybe I'm just projecting because _I'm_ lazy, but it feels kind of like stereotyping to suggest you get a poodle.” Delphine was watching the dog as he obediently sat to let his leash be clipped back on before returning to her book. Cosima sighed. “Sometimes, I hate only being able to talk to myself.”

 

Cosima got her hands on the remote that night, tired of being referred to as “you.” Delphine knew she was there, she might as well know Cosima's name, too. While Delphine was in the bathroom, she surfed until she found a program called “Exploring the Cosmos” on the Discovery channel.

“Close enough,” she said, and put the remote back down. Delphine glanced curiously at the TV when she returned, then changed it back to the evening news. Cosima sighed and switched it back. Delphine frowned, changed it, and moved the remote away from Cosima's reach. Scowling, Cosima stared at the cable box until it switched again.

“Stop doing that,” Delphine said, sounding mildly irritated. “I've been studying all day. I don't want to watch a documentary about the cosmos.” Cosima rolled her eyes and got to her feet, stalking into the kitchen and knocking over Delphine's coffee mug from the morning, spilling what was left of it over the table. With her finger, she wrote her name in the liquid. The noise had drawn Delphine to her. The blonde cocked her head and stared at the word on the table.

“ _Dammit, Niehaus,_ ” the voices said in Cosima's head. “ _They're not supposed to even know you exist, let alone what your name is!_ ”

“I don't exist, per se,” Cosima replied, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Cosima?” Delphine finally said, and Cosima's breath left her in a rush. Three years and she hadn't heard her name spoken outside her own head save the times when she said it herself. Three years, and now her stint with the coffee had worked and Delphine knew her name, and she had said it in her beautiful voice with its beautiful accent. Cosima gripped the edge of the table as her knees went weak, a fluttering starting deep in her chest. “Is that your name?” Cosima knocked weakly.

“It's never sounded so good,” she said softly. Delphine was still staring at the mess on the table.

“You're a girl,” she said, and raised a hand to her mouth to bite at her nail, a light furrow to her brow. She shook her head after a moment. “Of course you're a girl. There is something about you that's so gentle now that I think about it. I just assumed otherwise because of the flowers...” She laughed dryly. “But what man leaves flowers on a woman's doorstep theses days? You're far better than any random boy... Cosima.” Cosima tightened her grip on the table, and when her knees wobbled dangerously, sat in the chair. “That's a beautiful name,” Delphine continued.

“Only when you say it,” Cosima muttered.


	8. Chapter 8

“Do you ever miss home, Cosima?” Delphine asked the next day, tossing clothes from the pile on the chair into another one on her bed as she searched for her work shirt. From her spot sitting next to the latter, Cosima tapped her knuckles against the night stand. “Do you live far?” She knocked again. “Is that why you haven't gone back?” Another knock. “I miss home, too. Paris is a beautiful city. I used to go out for walks almost every night, with a coffee and pastry or a little sweet cake.”

“That sounds lovely,” Cosima replied.

“I could have stayed, but...” Delphine shrugged her shoulders, tugging her polo from the bottom of the stack and shaking it out. “There were better opportunities for me here, and my parents worked very hard to make sure I could attend.” She cleared her throat, hoisting her shirt. “I'll be right back.” She didn't shut the door completely, but Cosima obediently looked the other way. She hummed, then stood and crossed to the dresser, waiting for Delphine to emerge before knocking against the wood until she drew the blonde's attention.

“What?” she asked. Cosima leaned forward, breathed against the mirror, and wrote MOVIE? in the cold condensation. “You want to watch a movie with me?” Cosima knocked. Delphine smiled. “Okay,” she said. “Tonight, after I get home. Clara will be out. Can you pick what we watch?” Grinning, Cosima knocked again. “Good,” the blonde replied. “Now come, if we don't leave I'll be late.”

Out of Delphine and Clara's combined movie collection, Cosima picked The Aristocats, partly because she thought the whole French thing would make Delphine feel a bit less home sick, and partly because Delphine had let her pick, and she was in the mood for something silly and cute. Delphine laughed when Cosima held the DVD in front of her face.

“I don't think I will ever get used to seeing that,” she said, and held out her hand. Cosima let her take the box.

“I can see my body, so...” Delphine slipped the DVD into the player.

“You know what this needs?” she asked. “Popcorn. I wonder if we have any.” Cosima followed her as she opened doors looking for food. Cosima spotted it just as she closed the cabinet, and opened her mouth to speak before remembering she wouldn't be heard. When Delphine moved out of her way, Cosima opened the cabinet again and dropped the packet of popcorn on the counter. “Oh,” Delphine said, turning around. “Thank you, Cosima.”

“You're welcome,” Cosima quipped happily. “I'll just go sit down.” A few minutes later Delphine joined her, the popcorn in a large bowl that she rested on her lap. She could feel Delphine's heat radiating towards her. It took all of her willpower to not move, to just sit silently next to Delphine while the blonde laughed softly and smiled and hummed under her breath. It was almost normal, Cosima though, reaching for the popcorn. It was halfway to her mouth before she realized she couldn't eat it. Blinking, she started to drop it back into the bowl.

“Ew, Cosima, don't put it back!” Delphine exclaimed, turning her head to look a the space where Cosima was.

“What else am I supposed to do with it?” Cosima asked, but she stopped. “It's not like I can eat it!” She shoved the handful into her mouth, only to have it fall through her body and bounce onto the sofa. “See?” Delphine snorted.

“Well, now I'm definitely not eating it.” Cosima sighed, shifted to pick up the fallen food, and dumped it on the coffee table instead. “Better.” Cosima rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest, but a second later she felt a smile pulling on her lips. Her chest fluttered again.

“Wow, okay,” she whispered, with a sidelong glance at her companion. “Haven't felt nervous in a while. That's different.” She swallowed over the lump that formed in her throat, and raised one hand, then set it lightly against Delphine's thigh. The blonde jumped. When her fingers didn't go straight through, Cosima inhaled deeply and lightly squeezed.

“Is that you?” Delphine asked, her voice barely audible. Cosima bumped the table with her foot.

“Is it okay?” Cosima asked, and took it as a yes when Delphine didn't say anything else or move away from her.

“It feels like someone put a block of ice on my leg,” Delphine said. “It's okay, though. It's a good reminder that you're there.” When the movie finished, Cosima finally removed her hand, and put the popcorn she'd taken back in the bowl. Delphine thanked her with a smile.

“I wish I could talk to you,” Cosima said in reply. “Really talk to you. Not just talk at you and hope that maybe one day you'll answer.”

“That was fun,” Delphine called from the kitchen. “Thank you.” Cosima kicked the table gently.

 

Delphine put her hair up when she studied that Sunday night, piled into a messy bun on top of her head to keep it out of her face as she bent over her books, a cigarette in her hand, smoke wafting around her face. Cosima was doing her best to behave, not wanting to disturb the blonde when she needed to do well on her exam the next day, but it was boring not being able to do anything, and Delphine's shoulders had been steadily growing more and more tense for the past hour. She wished she could help, but she didn't know anything about immunology, and she lacked the ability to make up flash cards to question her with. So, she did the only thing she could think of to do, and stepped up behind the sofa, reaching over it until her hands connected with Delphine's shoulders. The blonde shivered.

“Bonjour, Cosima,” she said, rolling her shoulders. When the motion didn't dislodge Cosima's hands, she dug her fingers in, and started kneading gently. Realizing what she was doing, Delphine let her pen drop and roll into the spine of her book, and leaned back into the touch. Cosima flexed her fingers again. She had to concentrate, but she wasn't phasing through her. Not yet, at least. She pressed harder, and Delphine's arched, moaning softly. They both froze. A few agonizingly long seconds passed before Delphine cleared her throat. “I'm sorry. You're very good at that.” Her hands trembling, Cosima started again until Delphine's shaking was almost constant and she forced herself to step away.

“Sorry,” she said. “I know I'm cold.” Delphine sighed and rubbed the back of her neck.

“I can't,” she said, and shut her book, and stubbed out her cigarette, leaving it on the table and walking down the hall. Frowning lightly, Cosima followed her, standing by her chair until Delphine left the bathroom, dressed for bed. She settled as the blonde climbed beneath the blankets and switched off the lights. “Are you just standing there?” she asked. Cosima tapped softly on the floor.

“Well, yeah.” In the dark, she saw Delphine bite her lip.

“You can lay here, if you want. I don't mind.” Cosima didn't move. Her body yearned to, but she stayed firmly rooted to her spot on the floor, watching as Delphine's eyes fluttered shut and she drifted off to sleep. Only then did she let herself freak out.

“She wanted me in her bed,” she mumbled, holding her head in her hands. “What the hell does that mean? Does she like my company? Does she want comfort? I'm not very comforting; I'm cold and she can't cuddle me or really touch me or anything. Why does she want me in her bed?” She sighed and shook her head. “Maybe she'd just being polite so I don't have to sleep on the floor. Except that I don't sleep, she has to kn-” Delphine shifted in her sleep and Cosima held her breath, worried that her rambling had somehow managed to wake the blonde up, but her fears were unfounded. Or at least that one was.


	9. Chapter 9

Cosima was familiar with Delphine's reservations about getting out of bed on Mondays and Wednesdays. She'd feel the same way if it was her professor blackmailing her into sharing his bed on what looked like was becoming a semi-regular basis, but short of physically assaulting the man, which would most definitely get her taken way from Delphine, there was nothing she could do to stop his advances. Delphine, on the other hand, she had more sway over.

“You can't go,” she said that night while Delphine applied make up with trembling hands. “You can't.” She knocked the brush out of Delphine's hands. The blonde sighed and reached for it. Cosima pulled it out of her reach. Biting her lip, Delphine fumbled about on her dresser for another tube to use, and finished her other eye before Cosima could take it from her. When Delphine reached for her dress, Cosima pulled that away as well. Delphine ran her hands through her hair.

“Cosima,” she said, “stop it.”

“No,” Cosima replied, bunching the dress against her chest. Delphine held out a hand.

“Give me my dress, Cosima.” She held it tighter.

“No.” Delphine scowled at her, and picked out another one from the closet, sliding it up her legs. “You can't go!” Cosima shouted, tossing the dress on the bed

“I know you don't like it, but I didn't come all the way to America on my parents money for nothing.”

“No!” Cosima repeated, stalking across the room, her body coiled up like a spring. The lights flickered when she neared them. “You can't go. You can't go because you don't deserve this. You're a beautiful person and you just- you can't, because I'm falling in love with you!” The lightbulb popped loudly and went out as Cosima threw a glass of water across the room. It shattered against the wall.

“Cosima!” Delphine shouted, and the tone in her voice stopped Cosima from knocking the picture of her family off the dresser. “I'm going whether you like it or not! Stop behaving like such a child!” She snatched up her clutch from the bed and stormed out. Cosima winced as the front door slammed behind her.

“Shit!” Cosima yelled. “Shit! _Shit!_ ”

“ _Cosima, what just happened?_ ” Cosima sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose.

“Nothing,” she said. “Just a disagreement. Leave me alone, okay?” There was an unintelligible murmuring in the back of her head, but then the voices stopped, and Cosima was left alone with her thoughts. Her confession echoed loudly around the empty room, reverberating in her ears. Stuck in the apartment, Cosima could do nothing more than sit on the edge of the bed and wait. Eventually, her guilt got the better of her, and she did her best to clean up the shards from the glass she'd broken, and straightened the picture on Delphine's dresser.

She was back before Cosima expected her to be. At first, she thought it was Clara, but then she heard the click of Delphine's heels on the wooden floor echo down the hall. The blonde poked her head around the door, biting her lip. Her make up was smeared, like she'd been crying again. Cosima's chest clenched. She sat on the edge of the bed, so close that their arms almost touched. Cosima watched goosebumps rise on her skin.

“You're here,” Delphine said. “I know you're here, Cosima, so I just wanted to tell you I couldn't do it.” Cosima stared at the floor, unable to look at her. “I couldn't do it, and now I'm going to flunk his class and maybe my degree, too, but I couldn't do it because I l-” She cut herself off, and when Cosima glanced up, her teeth were digging into her lip again. “I'm going to take a shower. You'll still be here, right?” Cosima hesitated, watching Delphine raise her head, and for a second it felt like she was looking at her instead of through her. She knocked against the base of the bed. Delphine nodded once, then sighed and got to her feet.

Cosima listened to the shower while she shifted up the bed, leaning against the headboard and the extra pillow that Delphine never used, her hands folded on top of her stomach. Delphine was still towelling her hair when she re-entered the room, with a wary glance at the bed. She ruffled her hair one last time, then dropped the towel on the floor, and climbed onto her side of the bed.

“You're still here,” she said.

“I told you I would be, didn't I?” Cosima replied softly. “I won't ever leave you, Delphine. I promise.” The blonde sighed.

“I wish I could hear you,” she said, resting the back of her head against the wood behind it. Cosima bit her lip, and raised her hand, trailing her fingertips down Delphine's arm, resting them against the inside of her elbow. The blonde inhaled sharply, her eyes sliding shut. “I can feel you,” she whispered. Cosima swallowed hard.

“I want to kiss you more than anything right now.”

“Will you stay here tonight?” Delphine asked, turning her head. Cosima was almost close enough to... The blonde opened her eyes, her breath fogging faintly when she exhaled. Cosima thought she heard her heart pounding in her ears. “Cosima?” Cosima used her free hand to knock gently on the headboard. “Good,” Delphine said, the air before her misting again. “Goodnight, Cosima.”

“Goodnight, Delphine.” The blonde rolled over, and Cosima stretched out on her back, careful not to touch Delphine's side with her own. She closed her eyes, and listened to her breathing, and focused on the gentle warmth she could feel seeping into her body.

 

In the morning, after Clara left, Cosima dumped the cold coffee out of the pot and started a fresh one, laughing softly under her breath about how ridiculous it must have looked. She couldn't quite remember how to work a coffee maker, but after a bit of fumbling she figured it out, and swept the small pile of grinds and water into the sink before returning to Delphine's room. The scent must have woken her up. She inhaled audibly, and lifted her head off her pillow, squinting.

“Clara?” she called, then waited. “Clara?” she repeated, louder, but still no response. She bit her lip and blinked her eyes open further. “Cosima?” Cosima smiled and knocked on the night stand. A lazy grin spread across Delphine's face, and she buried her face in her pillow with a muffled giggle. “I'll be up in a minute,” she said. Cosima waited in the kitchen for her to dress. She was still smiling when she appeared again, and hummed contently.

“Did I do okay?” Cosima asked. Delphine poured a mug full of coffee and raised it to her lips, sipping cautiously.

“It tastes as good as it smells,” she commented. “You make surprisingly good coffee, Cosima, but you did leave a mess everywhere.”

“Thanks,” Cosima replied. “I tried.” Delphine sat at the table and stretched her legs out beneath it, pushing the other chair out invitingly. Cosima settled at it, propping herself up with her elbows. Delphine spooned some sugar into her coffee, staring at Cosima while she stirred it.

“Cosima?” she asked, sounding hesitant. She glanced away. Curious, Cosima knocked on the table. “Forgive me if I'm intruding, but, how did you die?” Cosima blinked and slouched back in her chair, then stretched her arm out to tip over the sugar container. “Sick” she wrote. “Oh. I'm sorry.”

“It's okay,” Cosima said with a shrug. Delphine sighed, staring at the word on the table, then cleared her throat.

“How old were you?”

“Uhhh...” Cosima mumbled, then rubbed her fingers over the sugar to clear it and wrote “25” instead.

“Oh. You were so young.”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, something happier. Euhm, what do you look like?” Cosima huffed. “Oh, I'm sorry. Yes and no questions. What colour are your eyes? Blue?” Cosima knocked twice. “Green?” Twice again. “Brown?” Cosima smiled, and knocked once. Delphine smiled as well. “And your hair? Is it brown as well?” She knocked. “Is it curly, like mine?” Cosima raised her other hand and tugged at one of her dreads. She knocked once, then paused for a second and knocked twice. Delphine raised a brow in confusion.

“Yes and no? What does that mean?”

“I can only do so much here, Delphine,” Cosima replied. “I'm trying.” Delphine chewed on her lip.

“How tall are you? Sorry, are you my height?” Two knocks. “Taller?” Cosima repeated herself. “Shorter, then.” She confirmed it. Delphine hummed. “Do you like dogs?” Cosima knocked firmly. “Cats?” She knocked again. “Horses?” Cosima quickly knocked twice. Delphine chuckled. “Not horses, then?” She tapped twice again. “Why not?” Cosima erased her age from the pile of sugar.

“Fell,” she said, as her finger traced the word.

“Oh, you poor thing,” Delphine cooed, but she was smirking.

“Shut up!” Cosima replied through a series of giggles. Delphine's expression had changed into one of surprise. “What?”

“Say something to me.” Cosima's stomach twisted.

“Okay, uh, before I got sick, I was planning to travel. France was one of the places on my list, of course. Most of Europe was, and Turkey and Israel, and Japan, and Australia and New Zealand. I just wanted to go everywhere, really. I wonder now if we would have met there, or if this is how things were going to end up all along.” Delphine's brow was furrowed in concentration, her eyes squeezed shut. “What is it?”

“I think-I think I can hear you. It's like this... odd... muffled buzzing in my ear, like I'm holding my head underwater, or trying to tune to a radio station that I shouldn't be able to.” Excitement built up in Cosima's chest.

“I _knew_ it! That day in the library, you heard me! I knew you did!” Delphine tilted her head to the side.

“Did you just say something about cheese?” Cosima laughed loudly. “Is that a no?” Cosima knocked twice, one arm wrapped around her stomach to try and quell her giggles.

“That is not even remotely close to what I said,” Cosima said, “but you're trying and it's adorable.” Delphine finished off her coffee.

“Say something else to me,” she said. “Keep talking. I need to test this.”

“You really are a scientist,” Cosima replied.

“There it is again!” Delphine declared. “That buzzing.” Cosima chuckled. “Well, don't stop now!”

Delphine kept at it all day, until Cosima was out of things to talk about, and the blonde had missed her lecture, but she didn't seem to care, even when she realized it. Cosima slumped on the sofa. Her throat was hurting from talking too much, and she was tired, but the joy that she felt whenever Delphine managed to catch a word was more than enough to keep her going.

“I'm tired,” she moaned, sighing. “Can I stop talking now?”

“What was that?” Delphine asked. “All I heard was a mumble.” Cosima kicked the table. “Okay, I'll stop. I'm sorry. It's just so exciting!” She shoved her hands through her hair and sat on her side of the sofa. “I should be studying for my exam tomorrow, shouldn't I?” Cosima bumped the table again. “Okay, okay.” She gathered her books and settled in, folding her legs under her body. Cosima closed her eyes and let herself relax into the cushions, propping her feet up on the table. She inched her hand across the sofa after a moment and laid it by Delphine's calf, letting the heat from the blonde's body warm her fingers until Clara came home.

 

“Booze!” Clara shouted the next night, startling Cosima. Delphine darted off the sofa as the brunette bundled in the door with her arms full of brown bags from the liquor store, kicking it shut. The blonde moved to help her.

“Why so much?” she asked, following Clara to the kitchen.

“Because _I'm_ worried about my exam and _you're_ worried about your exam and I don't know about you, but I feel like getting spectacularly drunk so I don't have to deal with being worried for a night. There's nothing quite like a make or break test to drive you to drinking, am I right?”

“I suppose?” Delphine asked. Clara pushed two shot glasses from one of the higher cabinet shelves into her hands and cracked open a bottle of vodka.

“Shut up and drink,” she said with a grin, holding the bottle with one hand and snatching up a glass with the other, tossing it back. “Cheers.”

“Cheers,” Delphine repeated, and tilted her head back.

They were very loud drunks. Cosima stretched out on the sofa listening to them talking and laughing to each other, drowning out the sound of the television (not that Cosima was paying much attention to it anyway). It was nice to hear Delphine laughing. Leekie hadn't made any inappropriate comments to her that day, but between having to be in the same space on top of a stressful exam, Delphine had been wound tight enough to snap. At least someone could drink with her, even if Cosima couldn't.

“Hey, Delphine,” Clara said. “Did you get more flowers or something? Because those look _exactly_ the same as they did two weeks ago and that is not possible.” Cosima sat up abruptly, twisting her torso around to look into the kitchen. The blonde was biting her lip, and staring at the glass where Cosima had been religiously keeping the bunch of wildflowers fresh every morning after Clara left before Delphine woke up.

“About those...”

“Delphine, what are you doing?” Cosima whispered.

“I didn't get new ones,” the blonde continued. “They're the same.”

“No way,” Clara said, leaning back in her seat and shaking her head. “Impossible.”

“No, it's not!” Delphine said. Her eyes gleamed excitedly. “I don't know how but... she keeps them fresh.”

“Delphine stop,” Cosima said firmly, sitting up straighter. “You're going to get me in trouble. More trouble.”

“She? Who's 'she'?”

“Cosima,” Delphine replied.

“Oh no,” Cosima muttered, scrambling to her feet.

“Who's Cosima?” Delphine shrugged, and winced as she finished another shot.

“I don't know really,” she said. Cosima squeezed through the space behind Clara's chair and the edge of the doorway to loop around to Delphine's side. “But she got sick, and she died, and now she's here.”

“What,” Clara deadpanned. Cosima reached out and grabbed the back of Delphine's chair.

“Don't worry, she's so lovely. She's kind and sweet, and I think she's rather funny, too. Or she tries to be. She makes me coffee in the morning, and she brought me those flowers after... but I'm not-I'm not really sure what she is to me. She's wonderful, and I feel so much happier with her around-”

“Can we go back to the dead girl in our house?” Clara asked.

“-and it's so odd, because I've never been attracted to a woman before. I don't even know what she looks like, but she _sounds_ beautiful, and I don't know what any of it _means_ because it can't be a sex thing can it?” Cosima's head spun.

“I'm so confused right now,” Clara said.

“You and me both,” Cosima mumbled, but her eyes were on Delphine, and her heart was a heavy lump in her throat.

“Not that I wouldn't mind if it _was_ a sex thing, but that's hardly a possibility. I don't even know if she can feel that way about me, or if she just likes me because I'm the first friend she's had in... well in years I guess, we can't really talk about it, and-” Cosima reached for her, turning her head to the side and jerking her forward into a quick kiss. It was only a second, but the contact warmed Cosima's entire body from the inside out before the effort of not falling through was too much and she had to pull away, her breathing heavy and erratic. Delphine swayed slightly in her seat, her eyes closed and her lips parted, looking a bit dazed. “Oh.”

“What is going on?” Clara asked, then stared down at the bottle in her hands with wide eyes. “I'm going to go to bed,” she announced, clumsily getting to her feet and sharply setting the bottle down. “I don't know what's happening, I need to lie down.” She tripped over the foot of her chair but managed to keep her balance, mumbling, “I need to stop drinking,” under her breath as she staggered down the hall. Cosima pressed her fingertips to her lips, still burning, a phantom pressure lingering on them.

“Cosima?” Delphine asked softly. Cosima gently hit the table. “I... I'm... I need to go to bed.” Cosima didn't know if she'd be able to keep her from falling if she started, but she was ready to try. Delphine made it to her room without any incidents, and toppled into bed, rolling herself up in her blankets. A few seconds later and she fell asleep. Cosima sighed and as quietly as she could manage, rummaged around in Delphine's bathroom for pain pills, leaving two of them and a glass of water on the night stand before settling in front of the chair.

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Delphine can only hear bits and pieces of what Cosima is saying. It's easier when Cosima yells or speaks loudly, but if she's talking at a normal voice it's mostly just a vaguely human sounding buzz with a word here and there clear enough for her to understand.

She groaned when she woke up, catching Cosima's attention. Even hungover, with her hair a tangled, wild lion's mane of a mess and her make up smudged around her eyes, she looked beautiful. The blonde squinted into the morning light, shielding her eyes from it, and immediately reached for the water and medicine as soon as she spotted them. With another groan, she clambered slowly out of bed, stretching, and leaving for the bathroom. A series of bangs down the hall announced that Clara had woken up as well. Cosima waited to see if Delphine would go back to bed, but the blonde shuffled out of her room to join her friend.

“What the hell happened last night?” the brunette asked, one hand to her head. She filled a large glass with water from the kitchen sink and drained half of it before slumping unceremoniously on the sofa. “I didn't even take my shoes off.”

“I don't know,” Delphine mumbled, slouching awkwardly next to her, her limbs askew.

“How much did we even drink? Jesus fucking Christ, my head. I think I'm going to be sick.” Cosima rolled her eyes at them both.

“You two need Gatorade or something,” Cosima muttered, “and some really shitty, fatty, greasy food.” Delphine groaned.

“I can only hear buzzing and it hurts.” Clara frowned at her with a wince.

“The fuck are you smoking? I don't hear any buzzing.”

“I'm barely even talking,” Cosima said. “You shouldn't be able to hear me.” Delphine covered an ear with her hand.

“That sounds like a siren.”

“Well sorrrryyy,” Clara drawled in irritation. Delphine curled up into herself.

“Just stop talking. Both of you.” Cosima froze. Delphine must have realized her error, because her eyes shot open. Clara just sighed.

“You're still drunk, aren't you?” she asked. “There's only one of me, thanks.”

“You should go back to bed,” Cosima said softly. Delphine inhaled sharply.

“Bed, yes. Bed.”

“Oh good,” Clara said. “I would, but I think my body is broken.” Delphine grunted in reply and hauled herself to her feet. Cosima pushed the door shut when Delphine forgot to, and leaned back against it, careful not to fall through. Delphine paused at the foot of her bed, then pulled the collar of her shirt up to her nose and sniffed once. Her face scrunched up in disgust, and she bent her arms and reached for the hem of her shirt.

“Oh, shit,” Cosima sputtered as she realized what was happening and slapped a hand over her eyes, but a second later peeked through her fingers. After all, she had said that... and they had... Delphine shivered, then stilled and quickly crossed her arms over her chest. Her face turned crimson.

“Cosima,” she said, glancing around the room. “I'm so sorry. I didn't think. I-I'm just going to go wash.”

“Yep,” Cosima squeaked, and smacked her palm against the wall behind her. “I'll just be here. Dying. Again.”

“Did you say something?” Delphine asked. “Nevermind. I'll just-sorry.” Cosima kept her hand on her eyes until the bathroom door shut. She let out a long exhale.

“Holy shit,” she said. “If Delphine Cormier in nothing but sweatpants isn't the hottest thing in the world strike me down now. Except please don't, I want the chance to see that again.” She covered her eyes again when the bathroom door opened, but Delphine called her name, telling her it was all right to look. Cosima blinked her vision clear. The blonde rubbed her arm awkwardly.

“Cosima, would you mind...” she sighed. “Would you mind getting in bed with me?” Cosima knocked twice on the wall. “Good. I'm sorry.” Cosima claimed the free space beside the blonde, resting against the headboard. Delphine curled up next to her, hidden under blankets. Cosima raised her hand and brushed it over the blonde's curls, lightly disturbing them. “That feels so good,” Delphine mumbled.

“I'll do it for as long as I can,” she said softly.

“What?” Delphine asked. Cosima shook her head.

“Nothing,” she replied, and continued to stroke Delphine's hair until the blonde fell asleep.

 

Delphine's phone had been beeping for the past five minutes, but the blonde had earbuds in and couldn't hear it. Cosima kept nudging it towards her with her toe, and while she had managed to kick it closer to Delphine, it was out of her reach unless she wanted to physically move (and she really didn't).

“That might be important, you know,” she said, slouched on the sofa next to Delphine with her arms crossed over her chest. “You should probably pay attention to it.” Delphine stretched, and got to her feet, padding into the kitchen. Cosima rolled her head against the back of the sofa and wiggled her toes inside her shoes. The blonde returned with a fresh glass of water and settled back beside her, pulling her computer into her lap. She popped her earbuds back in and took a sip. As she leaned back again, her phone beeped, and a few seconds later began to ring and vibrate against the table.

“Could you hand me that, Cosima?” Delphine asked, barely glancing up.

“Get it yourself,” Cosima grumbled, and banged her heel twice against the table.

“Please?” Delphine repeated. Cosima knocked again. “You're such a lazy ghost.” Cosima rolled her eyes, picked up the pillow at her side, and smacked it against the back of Delphine's head.

“Hey!” the blonde exclaimed, her hand raising to tangle in her hair. She turned her head and glared at Cosima. Cosima laughed. “Oh, you think it's so funny,” Delphine said.

“Yes, I do,” Cosima said, and tried to hit her again, but Delphine deflected it with her arm and quickly set her computer down so she could hop away, armed with a pillow of her own. She lobbed it at Cosima, only to have it go straight through her body and bounce off the arm of the sofa onto the floor. Cosima threw her own. It smacked Delphine's shoulder.

“This isn't fair,” Delphine said, bending to pick it up and holding it in front of her chest with both hands like a shield. She spun away from the next pillow Cosima threw. Delphine returned fire, aiming from where the missile had come from, but Cosima had already moved. “I can't see you!” Cosima laughed, then clapped a hand over her mouth when Delphine's head jerked in her direction. She ducked under the pillow that Delphine chucked at her head. It thumped softly against the wall behind her.

“All the more fun for me,” Cosima said, peeking over the sofa, but Delphine had grabbed the last pillow, and had her arm cocked back ready to throw. Cosima chuckled softly. “Good luck.” Delphine inhaled deeply, and closed her eyes. Cosima snorted. “You're not going to find me like that,” she said, just before the pillow hit her square in the face. She grunted and stumbled back a step, blinking in shock.

“I can feel you,” Delphine said, smirking. “Brat.” She picked up the pillows and returned them to the sofa while Cosima stood by the door, confused, her chest and stomach tingling warmly from Delphine's words. The blonde sat on the sofa with a content sigh, and picked up her computer again. With a small shake of her head, Cosima walked around the couch and set Delphine's phone next to her before sitting. “If you're going to sit there, you can get me my sweatshirt as well.”

“Fine,” Cosima said, scowling lightly, and poked Delphine's side. The blonde squeaked and pulled away.

“Cosima!” she shouted. “That's so much worse when you don't know it's coming! And it's cold!” Cosima sniggered and got to her feet again. “I heard that,” Delphine called after her as she went to obediently snatch the blonde's hoodie from the foot of her bed.

“Here,” she said when she returned, dropping the jacket on Delphine's lap. The blonde turned her head and smiled when Cosima flopped next to her again.

“Thank you, chérie,” she said, sitting forward to tug it over her shoulders. Cosima's heart flipped. The pet name echoed around the inside of her skull.

“I am so in love with you,” she sighed, dancing her eyes across Delphine's profile. She should have regretted the words as they passed her lips, and hoped with all she was that Delphine hadn't heard, but it was the opposite she wanted. The blonde inhaled sharply.

“What did you say?” she asked, her eyes closed. Cosima bit her lip, throat tight.

“I love you, Delphine,” she repeated, laying her hand against the blonde's thigh. “I've never felt this way about anyone before, and then I just sort of accepted that I never would, but then you came along, and you changed _everything._ ” Delphine slumped against the sofa, her hand at her lips. “I'm sorry,” Cosima muttered, her heart starting to sink. “You probably can't hear me anyway.”

“Does this mean I'm the tall one for once?” Delphine asked. She smiled. Cosima frowned lightly.

“I'm not that short,” she huffed, kicking at the table to show her displeasure. Delphine giggled, and laid her hand over Cosima's.

“It's okay, chérie,” the blonde said, opening her eyes. “I still love you. It's cute.” Cosima's breath pushed out of her lungs in a sudden rush.

“You said it back,” she whispered. Giddiness bubbled up inside her chest. She reached for Delphine, grabbing her face and pulling their lips together, holding it for as long as she could, until her hands started to tremble with the effort of touching rather than passing through. Resting her forehead against the blonde's, she sighed and smiled. “Sorry, I know that was sudden, I'm just really happy right now.” Delphine looked a bit dazed when Cosima pulled away and sunk into the cushions, then grinned broadly.

“This is the strangest thing I have ever done,” she said, biting her lip. Cosima chuckled.

“Me too,” she said, and traced a finger along Delphine's knuckles.

 

“Hey, Delphine,” Cosima asked, sitting on the edge of her bed and swinging her feet. “Wanna hear a ghost joke?” But Delphine was humming softly to herself as she folded laundry, and didn't reply. “You do?” Cosima continued regardless. “That's the spirit.” Delphine snorted abruptly, then started laughing.

“That was good,” she said.

“What?” Cosima asked, momentarily horrified. “No, that wasn't good! You weren't supposed to hear that! You're supposed to think I'm cool!” She fell back on the bed and covered her face with her hands, groaning. “Of all the things I've said to you, you had to hear that lame joke.” Delphine's giggles continued to fill the room. She finished folding the last shirt, leaving the pile on the chair, and braced her hands against the small of her back as she straightened up.

“I'm going to shower, Cosima,” she said. “Won't be long.” She shut the door behind her.

“I'm so lame,” Cosima said, pushing up her glasses and digging the heels of her palms into her eyes. “'That's the spirit?' What even, Cosima? What the hell even?” She shook her head and sighed, then laughed lightly, smiling despite her embarrassment. “At least she thought it was funny. Mark one down for ghost jokes.” She stretched, then sat up, and shuffled over to “her” side of the bed, busying herself by trying to think up new jokes until the door opened again and Delphine re-entered the room, holding her towel to her chest. “Oh,” Cosima said, and got to her feet. “Let me go outside.” Delphine grabbed her pyjamas from her pillow, and let her towel fall. Cosima stared. Delphine paused, then blushed violently, her face and neck turning bright red. She cleared her throat, then inhaled loudly and tugged her shorts over her hips, and pulled on her shirt.

“I-” the blonde started. “I'm going to study for my final before I sleep.” Cosima couldn't take her eyes off of her, the image of her naked body burned into her retinas. She sat down carefully as Delphine did, balancing her computer on her knees.

“Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?” she said softly, her legs pulled up against her chest. “Shit, the things that I would do...” And if she could, _oh_ , if she only could. Delphine tucked her hair behind her ear, then pressed her thumb against her mouth to chew on her nail. Cosima watched her lips, catching occasional glances of her teeth.

Eventually, Delphine sighed loudly, and let her head fall back against the headboard with a heavy thunk. Cosima's eyes dropped to the curve of her throat, and where her collarbone peeked out from under her shirt. The blonde squeezed her eyes shut, then shoved a hand through her hair and pushed her laptop away until it sat at the foot of the bed. She bit her lip.

“Maybe if I just...” she said under her breath, and dropped her hand to her stomach. “It'll go away.” Cosima's breath stuck in her throat.

“Maybe if you just what, Delphine?” she asked just as quietly. Delphine sighed shakily, and slid her fingers down. “Oh, shit.” She squeezed her eyes shut. “I should leave. I should go.” Delphine's breath hitched, and her body twitched gently. “I really should go.”

“Cosima?” Delphine whispered, stopping Cosima as she started to leave. “Are-are you there?” Cosima swallowed, her throat tight.

“Yeah,” she said, inching closer, barely remembering to knock. “Yeah, I'm here.” Delphine sighed again, and dug her teeth into her lip.

“Will you-I want you to-”

“Okay,” Cosima replied, and shifted again until there was only a breath of space between them. Delphine groaned softly, and Cosima's body buzzed. She bit her lip and squeezed her eyes closed. “Should I.. do you-what should I do?” She felt Delphine's hips rock. “Oh, fuck. Delphine, you have no idea how much I wish I could kiss you right now.” The blonde's breathing caught again. “Can you hear me?”

“I can feel you,” Delphine muttered. “Your breath.”

“I've wanted to kiss you for weeks. I wish I could touch for for longer than a few seconds. I wish I could show you how amazing you are.” Delphine moaned softly.

“Merde,” she whispered. Cosima forced her eyes open. Delphine pressed her arm harder into her nose, her spine arching and her hips rolling.

“I want to touch you. If I could... if only I could. Maybe I can just...” She raised her hand, trailing her fingertips slowly down the side of Delphine's neck. Goosebumps followed in their wake, from under the blonde's jaw to the jut of her collarbone. Delphine moaned again, her breathing growing erratic. “What are you thinking about?” Cosima asked, the awkwardness she'd felt draining away. “Are you thinking about me? I'd think about you if I could... not that I don't anyway. Because I do. I do think about you, and you're just... so sexy.” Delphine's groans filled the small room. Cosima bit her lip. “I-are you close?” Delphine's arm fell away from her face, her fingers digging tightly into the sheets.

“Yes,” she gasped out. “Yes. Yes.” Cosima closed her eyes, listening as Delphine held back a moan, feeling the bed rock and the blonde's body jerk before she sighed and breathed something in French.

“Holy shit,” Cosima whispered. “Holy shit.” Delphine's breathing slowly returned to normal. She moved her fingers with a quiet moan, and blinked her eyes open, irises dark and her face flushed, and turned her head to look at Cosima. She opened her mouth to speak, then frowned lightly, and reached out with her other hand.

“What?” Cosima asked, worry pricking at her mind.

“There's a dent,” she muttered, her voice husky.

“What?”

“A dent... In the bed.” She waved her hand. “Is that where you are?” Cosima held her breath, her face screwing up as Delphine's hand passed through her stomach. It felt like the blonde was pulling on her guts. She groaned.

“Uhg, that's weird,” Cosima said. “Don't do that.” Delphine repeated it. “That's making me feel sick.”

“Cosima, the air where you are is heavier.”

“Oh,” Cosima breathed.

“I wonder what that means...”

“I don't know, but I know you make me _feel_ like I'm alive. Now please get your hand out of my torso.” Delphine's frown lingered a few seconds longer, then she withdrew her hand with a sigh, and smiled, giggling.

“I can't believe I did that,” she said, and the tension broke. “I've never felt that way before.” Cosima breathed out a laugh, and leaned forward to kiss Delphine's shoulder with a quiet sigh. “Was that you?” Delphine asked. “It's almost like you're getting more real every day.”

“If only I was,” Cosima replied, resting the side of her head against the headboard. “If only I was.”


	11. Chapter 11

Cosima waited until Delphine's alarm went off before moving a messy curl out of her face and leaning down until she was close to the blonde's ear.

“Good morning,” she whispered. Delphine hummed and smiled, wiggling one arm out from under the blankets to stop the loud buzzing.

“I know that one,” she whispered, rolling onto her back and cracking her eyes open. “Good morning, Cosima.” She stretched, her spine arching up off the bed. Cosima moved to avoid collision. “Will you come shopping with me?”

“Yeah,” Cosima breathed. Delphine shuddered lightly. “Sorry.”

“That's cold,” the blonde muttered, but she was smiling. “It's okay, though. I don't mind. Did you stay there all night?” Cosima tapped gently on the headboard. Delphine hummed again. “I'm glad. Let me get dressed and we can go.”

 

Delphine had an amazing ass. Cosima had noticed before, of course (how could she not), but she felt slightly less perverted for staring at it after what they had shared. It wasn't her fault that Delphine's jeans fit her so well, or that her sweater was a bit too short after accidentally going through the dryer. She tilted her head to the side as Delphine bent to pick up a can of food from a bottom shelf and examine the label, then smirked and sauntered up to her just as she straightened back up. Humming innocently, Cosima tapped her ass. The blonde squealed, and jumped, and dropped the can of food she was holding.

“Cosima!” she hissed, blushing. Down the aisle, a mother with a small child glared at her. Delphine's blush deepened. Cosima snorted out a laugh. Delphine retrieved the can she had dropped and threw it in the cart, quickly leaving the aisle. “You are such a brat!” she scolded, her face still red. Cosima bit down on another wave of giggles.

“I don't hear you complaining,” she said.

“I can't believe you did that,” Delphine muttered under her breath. Cosima giggled again.

“I'm sorry,” she said. “I'll behave, I promise. At least for now. I can't guarantee I'll keep my hands to myself.”

“What about your hands?” Delphine asked, setting a box of cereal in the body of the cart.

“Nothing,” Cosima replied quickly. Delphine hummed.

“We'll see about that when we get home.” Cosima stopped in the middle of the aisle, her whole body warming until someone pushed a cart through her right leg.

Cosima helped Delphine put the groceries away, but her mind was stuck on Delphine's words. She couldn't mean that she wanted Cosima to touch her, could she? Not that she couldn't, that much was obvious now, but she couldn't maintain contact long enough to _do_ anything. She didn't think. Maybe she could, now.

“Cosima,” Delphine asked, biting her lip. “I forgot to take a shower this morning, and...” She tilted her head, and scrunched the plastic bag in her hands. “Would you like to join me?” Cosima's knees wobbled. She grabbed onto the counter to steady herself. “Cosima?” She smacked her knuckles so hard against the counter that they stung. She winced and shook her hand, her fingers slapping against the wood making another tap. Delphine smirked. “More than one knock? Is that a no?”

“No!” Cosima shouted, and quickly hit the counter twice. Delphine chuckled.

“Come on, then,” she said. Cosima hurried to comply.

Delphine was trembling, but it didn't stop her from pulling her clothes off in full view of Cosima, who was shaking just as much as the blonde was. The sound of the shower starting jolted Cosima back into reality.

“Okay,” she whispered, watching as Delphine cast a shy glance in her direction before climbing behind the curtain. “Okay. This is happening. This is really happening. Okay, Cosima.” She sighed, bouncing on the balls of her feet.

“Are you going to join me or not?” Delphine called. “I can hear you mumbling.” Cosima cleared her throat, and stepped in. The water hit her shoulders. Her eyes went wide. Delphine turned around and inhaled sharply.

“What?” Cosima asked, but she knew the answer.

“Is that supposed to happen?” Delphine asked, reaching out. Her fingers touched Cosima's cheek.

“Oh, shit,” Cosima groaned. Delphine's hand was hot against her skin. “I don't know what's happening,” she whispered. Delphine's arm fell.

“You're so small,” she muttered. The water steamed where it bounced off Cosima's shoulders.

“My clothes are getting wet,” Cosima said in response. “Why are my clothes wet? I think I need to get out.”

“Cosima?” Delphine asked as Cosima got out, dripping water onto the floor. “Are you okay?”

“What the hell is happening to me?” Cosima muttered, looking down at her wet shirt.

“Cosima?” Distracted, Cosima hit her knuckles against the wall behind her, then wandered into the bedroom, leaving a trail of water in her wake.

“What am I supposed to do now?” she asked herself, pulling at the collar of her shirt. “Can I even take my clothes off? I've never tried to before.”

“Cosima?” Delphine called, standing in the doorway with her clothes sticking to her skin where it was still damp, and her hair soaking the shoulders of her shirt. “What's wrong?”

“I'm wet,” Cosima replied, loudly enough that she hoped Delphine could hear.

“What? How?”

“What do I do?” Cosima asked, frowning.

“That's very odd,” Delphine mumbled. “I guess you just have to... well you can't stand around in wet clothes, can you? You'll catch a cold. Wait.” Cosima snorted.

“Unlikely,” she said, “but I'm extremely uncomfortable.” She sighed, reaching for the hem of her shirt. “I guess it can't hurt.”

“Delphine?” came Clara's voice from the hall. “Who are you talking to?” The blonde paled.

“No one!” she called. Cosima stumbled a step, her shirt caught on her head, and managed to clear it and cover her chest just as Clara opened the door. The brunette frowned.

“That's funny. I could have sworn I heard someone.” Delphine laughed, but it was strained.

“No,” she replied. “Just me. I think maybe your brain is fried from school.” Clara sighed.

“You know what, I think you're right. My exams are slowly driving me mad.” She shrugged. “Well, have fun talking to yourself. I'm going to bed before drinks tonight. Wanna join?” Delphine glanced at Cosima, biting her lip.

“No,” she said. “No, I really need to study for my finals.”

“All right,” Clara replied. “Suit yourself. Night.” Delphine smiled tightly until Clara closed the door, waiting until the sound of the brunette's followed until she relaxed.

“Awkward,” Cosima muttered, shifting from foot to foot as she shimmied her tights and skirt off. Delphine sighed, and turned back to her.

“Where are you?” she asked.

“Here,” Cosima replied, straightening up and gently banging her heel against the floor. Delphine stepped towards her, one hand outstretched, until her palm hit Cosima's shoulder. Cosima's eyes slid shut, Delphine's hand burning her skin.

“You feel... different,” Delphine whispered. Her hand dragged down Cosima's arm and fell away. “Smoother. Warmer.”

“Yeah,” Cosima muttered, opening her eyes to study Delphine's face. “You kind of have that effect on me.” The blonde shook her head and pushed her fingers through her hair. “What are you thinking?” Cosima asked. Delphine chewed on her thumbnail.

“I need to wash my hair,” the blonde finally said. “Do you still want to join?” Cosima sighed, but thumped her foot twice. “Right, of course. I'll be out in a minute.” Cosima watched her until she shut the door behind her, then bent over and scooped up her wet clothes, draping them over the chair and settling on the floor in front of it.

“Guess I can't go out in the rain any more,” she mumbled, resting her chin in her palm.

 

Cosima shifted closer to Delphine on the sofa and pulled the blonde's hand further into her lap, her fingertip drawing a large “W” on the inside of her arm. Delphine hummed, her head resting back against the top of her sofa and her eyes closed, relaxed despite the goosebumps on her arm from Cosima holding it for so long.

“Tungsten,” she said. Cosima knocked her foot against the table, and traced “Tc” along Delphine's wrist. “Oh. Uh, technesium? No! Technetium!” Cosima grinned and tapped her foot again.

“You better get this one,” she mumbled, writing “Au.”

“Gold,” Delphine said immediately, smiling. Cosima sighed happily, and moved her finger again. Delphine laughed softly. “Cosima, that's a heart.”

“I know,” Cosima replied. Someone knocked firmly at the door. Delphine groaned.

“I wish you could get that,” she said. “I'm so comfortable.” She huffed a sigh and slowly got to her feet, rounding the sofa to open the door. “What are you doing here?” The shocked tightness to her voice made Cosima spin around, her eyes settling on Leekie's lanky form filling the doorway and her face immediately creasing into a glower.

“Good evening, Delphine,” he said. “May I come in?”

“Why would I let you?” Delphine asked. “How did you find where I live?”

“Student records,” Leekie answered casually, and pushed his way past Delphine into the apartment. Cosima dug her fingers into the sofa. “I've come to apologize.” Cautiously, Delphine shut the door. She crossed her arms over to her chest, but didn't move. “It appears we have a slight misunderstanding.” Leekie glanced around the room, then turned on his heel to face her, his hands clasped behind his back. “I was hoping that you were intelligent enough to realize that I'm not playing a game with you. I spent a lot of money to get a nice hotel room on short notice so that you could be comfortable, and in return, you embarrassed me. You have to understand that you cannot frivolously attend if and when you feel like doing so. If it happens again, I _will_ fail you. Now, I have a cab waiting for us outside. Get what you need. I'll wait here.” Shock plastered across her face, Delphine hesitated, then turned on her heel and walked stiffly down the hall to her room, leaving Cosima and Leekie alone.

“No,” Cosima said, slowly getting to her feet. “You are not doing that to her again. I won't let you.” Leekie turned around as she began to approach, frowning. A faint wind started to whirl around Cosima's body, rustling the papers on the coffee table. In the kitchen, the cabinets started to rattle, and the lights briefly flickered. “Get out,” Cosima said. “You disgusting, perverted bastard. Get out of our house.” Her blood ran hot at the memories of Delphine's broken crying, curled up in bed with Cosima unable to comfort her, all because of the man standing in their living room. “Get out!” Cosima shouted, and the front door flew open, and the cabinets in the kitchen followed it, pans falling onto the floor with a loud clatter. A light in the kitchen popped sharply and went out, and the papers on the coffee table abruptly shot away. Delphine's surprised shout echoed down the hallway.

“What the hell?” Leekie yelped, taking a step back. Cosima raised her hand and slapped him as hard as she could, her nails biting into the flesh of his cheek. Red lines appeared, slowly seeping blood. Cosima pulled in a deep breath, and managed, for a few valuable seconds, to give herself a not quite physical form. She thought she could see her reflection in his eyes.

“ _Get out!_ ” she roared, and shoved him bodily out the door. “You will _never_ touch her again! _Never!_ ” She slammed the door shut and threw the bolt. For another second, she seethed, then, abruptly, all of the fight drained out of her. Delphine, drawn by the noise, rushed out of her room, skidding to a stop at the end of the hallway.

“Cosima?” she called. “What the hell did you do?” Cosima swayed on her feet, hardly able to keep her eyes open. “I heard shouting, and banging and-Cosima? Where are you?” Weakly, Cosima knocked on the door. Delphine's sigh trembled through the air.

“I need to lay down,” Cosima said, staggering towards the bedroom. She passed through Delphine's arm on her way, and heard the blonde turn to follow her.

“Cosima? Are you okay?”

“Just... need to rest,” Cosima mumbled, sinking gratefully onto the mattress and closing her eyes. The bed dipped as Delphine joined her, and she felt the warmth of the blonde's palm on the back of her hand. She waited for her to say something, to tell her she'd been foolish, but nothing came.


	12. Chapter 12

The angry build up of mumbling voices in the back of her mind filled her with dread. She felt better having spent the night with Delphine, close to what could have passed for sleep herself until the alarm clock went off and made her jump. Delphine groaned as she moved to turn it off, and yawned.

“Cosima?” she asked immediately after. Cosima inhaled slowly, and knocked on the headboard. “Good,” Delphine breathed out. “You scared me last night.”

“I'm sorry,” Cosima replied, opening her eyes. She pushed Delphine's hair out of her face.

“I'm afraid to go in today. What did you do?” Cosima shook her head.

“You don't want to know,” she said. “I've never done it before, and hopefully I'll never have to again.” Delphine sighed.

“I can't hear you,” she said sadly.

“You will,” Cosima replied. “I just need to get my strength back.” Delphine stretched with a soft groan, and slowly got up. Cosima followed, wavering, but thankfully managed to keep her feet.

 

The ultimatum came when they reached campus. The buzz in the back of her mind had been steadily increasing, and Cosima had been doing her very best to block them out, but it was taking energy she didn't have much of to spare, so she'd settled for ignoring them instead, until they broke through the fog she'd fallen into with words that would have turned her blood cold if she had any.

“ _We tried, Cosima,_ ” they said, at least attempting to sound regretful. “ _We did our best to ignore you. You were making her happy, and even though you were breaking a bunch of rules, you weren't hurting anyone with it; no harm done. But this is different. You know you're not supposed to hurt humans. That's the number one rule._ ”

“But, I-” Cosima started, her stomach twisting with panic.

“ _No buts, Cosima!_ ” they yelled. “ _It's over. You're leaving._ ”

“I won't go,” Cosima said, but there was no reply. “Shit.”

“Cosima?” Delphine asked softly, letting someone through the classroom door before her. Cosima touched her shoulder lightly, and the blonde relaxed, but Cosima's heart felt cracked and heavy. The scratches on Leekie's face were red and irritated, and he glared at Delphine when she entered, but didn't say anything. Cosima caught sight of his laptop on the table, open and functioning, but not being used.

“You won't take me without me making sure Delphine's safe,” Cosima said firmly. The blonde went to sit, and instead of following, Cosima left her side to stand by Leekie's laptop, waiting until he was distracted with the start of his lecture before turning her full attention to his computer. Glancing up every few seconds to check he was still occupied, she pulled up his email and scrolled through them, her stomach rolling with disgust when she discovered that Delphine wasn't the only student he was sleeping with. “This'll show him,” she muttered, forwarding all the incriminating messages she could find to the university dean. “You're fucked now, Leekie. Try talking your way out of that. You won't.” Delphine's concerned face was what pulled her away. Her expression relaxed when Cosima sat on the floor next to her.

“Where did you go?” Delphine asked softly. Cosima leaned to the side, resting her head against Delphine's thigh and closing her eyes. She felt fuzzy around the edges for the first time in weeks.

“Making sure he can never hurt you again,” she said quietly. “Just in case.”

 

Cosima fought. It was like someone was bodily trying to haul her away from Delphine, away from the world she knew, but she struggled, kicking and biting like a wild animal.

“I won't go,” she said when she felt them tugging on her soul, their irritation rising to match her stubbornness. “I won't go. You can't make me.” But they could. Cosima knew that. They were the ones with the ultimate power over who stayed and who left, and where people went when they died (wherever that was), not her. She tried to act like nothing was wrong, but Delphine wasn't so easily fooled, and Cosima quickly lost the energy to touch without her hand falling through, or speak with enough volume and focus that her voice would carry to Delphine's ears.

“Cosima?” Delphine asked for the fifth time in as many minutes. Shaking, Cosima raised a hand and tapped her knuckles against the headboard.

“I'm here,” she whispered, her voice rough, and cracked. It felt like she was sick all over again, with barely enough strength to blink, although the lack of physical pain in her chest and lungs was welcome. “I'm still here.”

“Something is wrong,” Delphine said. “Cosima, please, tell me what's wrong.” Cosima sighed, and even that felt like she was trying to push a car up a hill.

“They're trying to get me to leave, Delphine,” she said, “but I won't go. I won't. I won't leave you.”

Delphine cried a lot, when she thought Cosima couldn't see or hear her, and when Cosima lost the ability to get out of bed, it was easier for her to hide her tears until she came back into the room with red eyes and a splotchy face. Despite her will, after only two days, Cosima could hardly move. Delphine curled up in bed that night, facing her, with her knees pulled up to her chest.

“Cosima, I can't feel you here any more,” the blonde said, her voice cracking. Tears welled in her eyes, and she bit back a sob. “I don't want you to go!”

“No,” Cosima whispered, “don't cry. I don't want to go either. I'm trying my hardest, babe. I'm trying to stay.” Delphine covered her face with a hand, muffling her cries against her palm. “You can't take me,” Cosima said, projecting her voice as much as she could. “I promised her I wouldn't leave her. I promised!” It left her feeling winded and weak and blurry, like parts of her had already stopped existing.

“Cosima,” Delphine whispered, and inched closer. “Please, don't leave me. Please. Is this because of Leekie? I would have him a hundred times over if it meant I got to keep you.”

“Baby, no. Don't say that,” Cosima muttered. “I'm trying. I'm trying so hard.” Delphine sniffed and shakily inhaled, moving closer and closing her eyes, but instead of their lips touching, Delphine met nothing but cool air. “I'm sorry,” Cosima said. “I can't.” She forced herself to keep her eyes open, even though seeing Delphine cry was like a knife through her heart, and looked at her for as long as she could manage, taking in every detail, from the freckle by her mouth to the tears lingering on her eyelashes until it proved too much, and she let her eyes slide shut.

 

Delphine's alarm startled her awake. Her heart pounded in her throat until she realized what the obnoxious buzzing was and she slammed her hand down to shut it up. She stretched with a groan, her body stiff and her head muggy and sore, and blinked her eyes open.

“Cosima?” No response. It was hardly unusual. The past two days had seen her replies become less and less. She waited a few seconds, then called again, and listened as carefully as she could for the slightest sound of acknowledgement, but none came. Fear clawed at her stomach, and another round of tears dampened her eyes as she reached out a shaking hand to feel the other side of the bed. It was cool, but the cool of not having been slept on, not the cold she'd become accustomed to. “No,” she muttered, patting the sheets. “No, no, no. Cosima? Cosima!” Nothing but silence met her ears. She snatched Cosima's pillow from its resting place and buried her face in it, sobs racking her body.

“Delphine? Are you okay?” Clara knocked on her door, and opened it before Delphine could tell her she was okay, not that the brunette would believe her anyway. “Oh, sweetie,” her room mate cooed. The mattress shifted and squeaked lightly as Clara climbed in next to her, and Delphine pressed Cosima's pillow to her chest to rest her head on Clara's lap. Clara stroked her hair. “What's wrong? Did you fail your exam?” Delphine shook her head. “Okay, then what is it?” How could she explain it? She shook her head again. Clara sighed, but didn't push, and played with her hair until there were no more tears left, and she felt emptier than she ever had in her entire life.

 

She was floating. All around her was nothing but blackness, heavy, and thick, but not suffocating. Just there, holding her. It didn't matter if her eyes were opened or closed, nothing changed. She didn't know how long she'd been there. It could have been five minutes, or it could have been five years. She had no way to tell the difference. It _felt_ like an eternity. And all the time all she could think of was Delphine, and with each second (or minute or hour or day) that passed, she grew angrier and angrier. She cried, but she couldn't hear her sobs, and couldn't feel tears on her face.

“ _Why are you crying, Cosima?_ ” they asked, except the voices were all around her instead of just inside her head, echoing and vibrating the darkness.

“I promised!” Cosima shouted at them.

“ _You were too attached, and it led you to an act of violence. It wasn't good for either of you to let things go that far._ ”

“Then give me a second chance!” Cosima replied. “Don't I deserve it!? Of all the things I have done over the past three years, not one of them have been borne out of selfishness! Everything I did, what I did to him, _everything_ was for her! So _she_ would be happy! And it's not fair! You let me have her and then you ripped her away from me! This is _your_ fault!” They rumbled in response, but said nothing Cosima could understand. “ _Answer me!_ ” she screamed, a sob tearing it's way out of her throat. “I promised!” she cried. “I promised!”

She didn't know how much time passed afterwards. She floated, defeated, through whatever pit she'd been tossed in to spend the rest of forever. She'd done enough, she thought. She'd loved, and she'd protected her, and for a few days she'd made Delphine happy, and that was all that really mattered. Justice had been served, and the blonde would find someone else who would take care of her. The thought made her chest ache, but it was better than the alternative. The rumbling around her started again. Cosima sighed.

“ _Do you love her?_ ”

“Why are you asking me that?” Cosima mumbled.

“ _Tell us, Cosima; do you love her?_ ”

“Yes,” Cosima replied, moving a hand that she couldn't see to rub at raw eyes. “There's no one else. There never was, and now there never will be. Just her.” A gentle wind rushed over her, like a heavy sigh.

“ _Good luck, Cosima._ ” And then she was falling.

A loud thumping filled her ears, strong and steady, and something that sounded like a breeze. No, not a breeze, breathing. Her breathing. There was something soft under her hands. Her fingers twitched and flexed experimentally. Was that grass beneath her palms? She felt warm, hot almost. She breathed in deeply, sharply, and a plethora of scents assaulted her. Her eyes flashed open, meeting a familiar tree canopy. She shot upright, and looked down. That was her. _Her_ body. Real and warm and solid. She ran her hands through the grass and dug her nails into dirt cooled by the shade of her tree. A soft cough to her right caught her attention. She whipped her head towards the sound. The cause was a man on a bench reading the paper.

“Can you see me?” she asked. The man gave her a confused glance.

“Uh... yeah?” he said. She grinned and scrambled to her feet, and bowled her body into his shoulder in a tight hug. She squeezed once, then turned and bolted, only one destination in her mind.

 

“Are you going to get out of bed today?” Clara asked from the doorway. Delphine tapped the end of her cigarette into a try filled with ash and bent filters and stared out her small window. She heard Clara sigh. “I don't know what's wrong, because you refuse to tell me, but you're acting like someone died and you've been holed up in here for two days.” Delphine pulled smoke into sore lungs and held it until it felt like she was going to choke. It fell from her nose.

“Go away, Clara,” she said, pulling her knees up to her chest. “You wouldn't understand.”

“Come on, Delphine. Come out with us. We all passed our exams and having a good drink or two looks like it'll do you some good.” Delphine shook her head.

“I don't want to go out,” she said quietly, flicking the end of her cigarette again. Clara sighed again.

“Suit yourself,” she said. “Text me if you change your mind.” Delphine hummed. Clara shut her door softly, and a moment later the sound of the front door closing echoed dully down the hall. Delphine stared at the cigarette between her fingers, then swore under her breath and roughly stubbed it out. Drinks wouldn't help her now. Besides, living with Clara meant there was plenty of alcohol in the flat. She didn't need to go out to have one.

Someone knocked on the door. Delphine ignored it, watching the light coming through the window fade as a cloud passed in front of the sun. It was probably just Clara. She wouldn't have been surprised if the brunette had left her bag on the coffee table again. They knocked again. Delphine rolled her eyes, and searched the mess on her night stand for her pack of cigarettes. Her fingers brushed the plastic, but when she lifted it it was empty. There was more knocking, this time more urgent.

“The key is under the pot, Clara!” Delphine shouted, and when the banging started up again she swung her legs over the side of her bed and grabbed her hoodie to combat the chill of the house to go answer. It wasn't Clara.

“Hi,” her visitor said, with a short wave of her hand. “I'm Cosima.” She grinned broadly. Delphine's lungs stuttered for air. She examined the woman in front of her closely. She was about the same height, and her eyes were the right colour, hidden behind thick rimmed glasses, and her hair was...

“Oh,” Delphine whispered. “Dreadlocks.”

“Yeah, but it's naturally curly, so...”

“Oh god, it's really you.”

“Yeah.” Delphine raised her hand, her heart thumping like a war drum, and touched Cosima's shoulder. It was hot and solid against her fingers. She moved to her cheek, then jerked forward and wrapped her arms around the brunette, pulling her close as tears bit at her eyes again. “Oh, god,” Cosima groaned, returning the embrace. “You feel so amazing.”

“I thought you were gone forever,” Delphine choked out, her face buried tightly against the crook of Cosima's neck.

“It's okay,” Cosima whispered, stroking her back and shoulder, touching her hair and cheeks. She pulled back so they could look at each other, her thumbs smoothing across Delphine's skin. “It's okay,” she repeated. And then they were kissing. Delphine didn't know who started it, but it didn't matter. All there was was Cosima's lips on hers, a bit hesitant and unsure, but warm and alive and so very, very real.

They stumbled back into the apartment. Delphine shoved the door shut with her fingertips, and smiling, giddy and giggling, pulled Cosima down the hall to her bedroom. The brunette was already clumsily pulling at her clothes. Her movements were clunky and awkward, as if she was unused to using her hands. Delphine helped, laughing when her hoodie stuck at her elbow and tangled around her wrist. Face red, Cosima pulled it off for her and tossed it aside, and together they tumbled onto the bed.

“Sorry,” Cosima mumbled, her hands and elbows bumping against Delphine's body. “It's uh, it's kind of been a really long time.”

“It's okay,” Delphine told her, grabbing her face and kissing her firmly, like Cosima was the air she needed to breathe. “I don't care. All that matters is that you're here.” Cosima grinned at her again, with a blinding brilliance, and kissed her into her pillows.

 

“I want a shower,” Cosima said from her position curled around Delphine's lower half with her head on her stomach. Delphine hummed, stroking wisps of hair away from Cosima's forehead.

“Go get one,” she replied. “You know where the bathroom is.” Cosima grunted.

“I don't want to move,” she said. “You're really warm and comfy.”

“And I will still be here when you finish.” Cosima sighed, her breath cool against Delphine's hip.

“Okay,” she said, and pushed up onto her elbow. She stole a kiss with a cheeky grin. Delphine trailed her fingers along the brunette's jaw, letting her touch linger until Cosima pulled away from her and practically skipped to the bathroom. She grinned up at the ceiling. Her whole body felt light as a cloud and filled with sunshine, humming happily from the top of her head to the ends of her toes. She sighed, a giggle bubbling unwarranted out of her chest. “Oh my god, Delphine, get in here! You're the only thing that could possibly make this better!” Delphine laughed loudly, and, shaking her head in amusement, rolled out of bed to join.

 

The first time either of them left the room, Cosima walked straight into the bedroom door with a startled yelp. She whirled around as Delphine started to laugh at her, holding her hand over her nose.

“It's not funny!” she said, pouting. Delphine dug her teeth into her lip. “I think I'm bleeding.”

“I should not find this as adorable as I do,” Delphine replied, slipping out of bed and padding across the room. She gently tugged Cosima's hand away.

“I was dead,” Cosima replied. “What did you expect?” Delphine shook her head and tangled her fingers through Cosima's, pulling her towards the bathroom.

“Let's just clean your face, okay?” she said, sitting Cosima on top of the toilet and wetting a cloth to dab blood off her nose and the top of her lip. “Better?”

“Could use a kiss, I think,” Cosima said with her best puppy dog eyes. Delphine rolled her own, but bent over and tenderly touched her lips to the bridge of Cosima's nose.

“There,” she said. “Now?”

“Much better,” Cosima said, smiling.

Over the next few days, Cosima gathered several lumps and bruises to add to a slightly swollen nose, mostly around her hips from constantly walking into the night stand, and catching her toes on the legs of the coffee table and kitchen chairs. The first time she slammed her foot into the coffee table had Delphine laughing so long her stomach hurt.

“Don't laugh!” Cosima shouted at her, curled up on the sofa clutching her foot. “It hurts! Why does it hurt so much!? I've broken my arm and I think this hurts worse than that. I think I'm dying.”

“Don't joke about that,” Delphine said, her smile dropping. Cosima rubbed her toe.

“I'm sorry,” she said. “It really hurts, though.” Delphine kissed all her bruises a hundred times over, and lightly brushed her fingers across the sensitive flesh as Cosima's fingers knotted her hair.

“They make you real,” Delphine told her when Cosima stopped complaining about how much her foot hurt.

“I know,” Cosima sighed. “I'll get used to it eventually. Great to know that I'm going to be just as clumsy as I was the first time around, though. No more tree climbing in my future.”

“No,” Delphine replied, and tapped the tip of her nose. “No tree climbing.” Cosima caught Delphine's hand and kissed her finger, then nipped it gently.

“There's other ways for me to be an explorer,” she said, and pushed Delphine onto her back.

 

Cosima stole the bed sheet to wrap around herself when the loud growling coming from her stomach became too obnoxious for her to ignore. Delphine shoved her playfully when she lingered for kisses.

“Get!” she said, smiling. “I am surprised the neighbours can't hear your stomach.” Cosima hummed.

“I'm going, I'm going. Don't move.” Her stomach grumbled again. Cosima pushed her palm against it and gripped the bed sheet tighter, humming softly as she wandered out of the bedroom and into the kitchen to browse. She stopped short when she caught sight of Clara and someone she didn't recognize at the kitchen table. They stared at each other. “Uh, hi,” Cosima said. “I'm Cosima. Just, uh, getting some food.” She squeezed into the kitchen and quickly grabbed a box of crackers from the cupboard.

“Uh, I'm Clara. This is Jeff.” Cosima smiled.

“I'm just gonna...” she started, and hugged the box to her chest. “Bye.”

“I didn't know your room mate was gay,” she heard Jeff say when she rounded the corner.

“Neither did I,” Clara muttered in reply. Cosima tugged the sheet fully into the room and bumped the door shut with her heel.

“Well,” she said, clambering back into bed with her prize of crackers, “I've now officially met Clara. And someone named Jeff.” Delphine laughed, dipping her hand into the box.

“That's her boyfriend.”

“Ah,” Cosima replied, pulling the box out of Delphine's reach when she went for another handful. “Get your own.” Delphine rolled her eyes, and wrapped her arms around Cosima's waist, pulling her close.

“That would mean leaving,” she said, her forehead pressing into the side of Cosima's shoulder. She sighed heavily. Cosima turned her head to look down at her.

“What?” she asked, frowning lightly. Delphine kissed her arm.

“How are you here?” she asked without looking up. Cosima shrugged, and tapped her fingers against the cracker box.

“I don't know. I wasn't anywhere, and then they asked me if I love you, and then wished me luck, and I woke up under my favourite tree in the park.”

“'They'?” Delphine asked. Cosima nodded, and set the box on the night stand.

“Yeah. Sort of in control of who goes where. That kind of thing. Guess they decided I was worth a second go.”

“And you won't disappear again?” Delphine asked, her grip on Cosima's waist tightening.

“No,” Cosima replied, sliding down the bed so she could tangle their legs together and brush her lips across the blonde's. “I'm not even sick any more.” She sucked in a deep breath and held it for a few seconds to prove her point, grinning. Delphine chuckled softly, and reached for Cosima's arm, draped over her side. She flipped it, her fingers tracing along the ink that marked her skin. She pressed her lips to it.

“What will you do now?”

“I don't know,” Cosima said. “Go home. Try to explain all of this to my parents. Then maybe travel for a while before I think about going back to school.”

“Travel?” Delphine inquired. “Where to?”

“Everywhere,” Cosima replied. “I've told you all this before, you just couldn't hear me.” Delphine smiled sheepishly.

“I can now. Tell me it again.” Cosima grinned, and cupped Delphine's cheeks to pull her in for a firm kiss.

“We have all the time in the world for that,” she whispered against Delphine's lips. “All the time in the world.”


End file.
